


Breaking Point

by TheSongSmith



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Even Dean is being kinda nice, Eventual Sabriel, Gabriel Being Gabriel, Gabriel is so over this human thing, Hurt Gabriel, I just really love hurt/comfort okay?, Sam is so patient, Sam to the Rescue, Who am I kidding definitely Destiel, maybe some Destiel too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-02-19 17:19:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2396459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSongSmith/pseuds/TheSongSmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everybody has one. When Gabriel finds his, he also finds a surprising new friend to help pick up the pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Dwarf and the Giant

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is the first Sabriel fic I've ever written, and I think I really like it. I hope you enjoy!

“Is that all of them?” Dean asks.

I nod, and he stashes the blade back in his jacket. “Might want to check ‘em, just to be sure,” I mutter, surveying the twenty or so bodies scattered around the room. It was an ambush, but it was one we were prepared for. Out of the corner of my eye, I see movement. Turning to that side, all I can see around the stack of boxes is a pair of legs. This time I catch the small twitch, quietly walking over to investigate. Knife in hand, I peek around the boxes. Behind them is a man, bloody and injured, his clothes tattered and dirty, lying on the floor. I can’t see his face, but he’s definitely breathing. Slowly, I kneel down beside him, carefully rolling him over. It takes me a minute to realize that this is not one of the demons we fought. “Uh…Dean?” I manage. “You might want to take a look at this.”

He looks up from where he kneels beside a body, walking over. Glancing down, he frowns, puzzled. “Gabriel? Is he…dead?”

I shake my head. “He’s breathing. Did you notice him here before the fight?”

He thinks for a moment, nodding slowly. “I saw someone on the floor. I figured it was just a human they’d killed. Didn’t give it much thought. How’d he get here? And where the hell has he been?”

“I have no idea,” I murmur, watching him. “But I guess we’ll find out when he wakes up.”

Dean frowns. “What are you talking about? You don’t…Sammy, you’re not actually thinking about taking him home, are you?” I look up at him, and he groans. “No. Absolutely not. Do I need to remind you that every time he’s around, something bad happens to us? Did you not learn your lesson when you watched me die all those times? This is a terrible idea. We can’t keep him.”

I roll my eyes at him. “Dean, he’s been on our side, remember? Just look at him. Something is wrong with him, and you know it. Just because we’re not his biggest fans doesn’t mean it’s okay to leave him here where who knows what could get him.”

He grumbles under his breath, sighing. “Alright, fine. But don’t expect me to take care of him. You want him, you clean up after him. Bleeding heart,” he mutters. I chuckle, carefully picking him up and carrying him out to the car, settling him in the backseat. He groans softly, but doesn’t wake up, just continues his shallow breathing. As we drive home, I check over my shoulder every so often, but he remains still and silent. Dean catches me and makes a disgusted sound. “Come on Sam, he’s not a kicked puppy. He’s an archangel for Christ’s sake.”

“I dunno, Dean, I’m not so sure.” He raises an eyebrow at me. “He looks pretty beaten up for an angel. Maybe he doesn’t have his mojo.”

He glances back in the mirror, shaking his head. “Doesn’t mean he can’t still wreak havoc.”

“Dean, I’m not asking you to be his friend. I’m not even asking you to care about him. I just want to make sure he’s alright, okay?”

“Whatever you say, Sammy,” he chuckles. “But when he screws you over, I’m going to say I told you so.” When we reach the bunker I lift Gabriel out of the car, carrying him into my room and laying him down gently on the bed. I make a trip to Dean’s closet and the bathroom to retrieve clean clothes and medical supplies, cleaning him up and carefully tending to his wounds. When I’m satisfied I put everything away, throwing out his bloody and torn clothing and stopping in the library to pick up anything the Men of Letters have on angels. Setting the stack of books on the bedside table, I slip off my shoes and settle on the bed next to him to wait.

Somewhere around midnight, Gabriel stirs, frowning and muttering in his sleep. I set down my book, shaking him gently. “Gabriel? Wake up.” He jolts up suddenly, breathing hard and shallow, glancing around the room nervously. He freezes when he sees me, breaths turning into more of a wheeze. “Hey, it’s okay,” I say softly. “It was just a dream.” He looks at me for a minute before grabbing onto me tightly, clutching my shirt in shaking fists. I hesitate before hugging him gently, feeling him tremble hard. “Easy Gabe,” I murmur. “You’re okay. Just calm down. Breathe.”

He shakes his head, burrowing further into my chest. “Can’t,” he chokes out.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder if angels can have panic attacks. Tightening my hold on him, I slowly slide my hand along his spine. “Yes you can. It’s okay, I’m right here. Can you look at me?” Cautiously, he looks up, his grip still tight like he thinks I might bolt, and I pause for a moment at the sheer terror in his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere,” I assure him gently. “You’re gonna be okay. We have to get you breathing again before you pass out. We’re going to do it together, but I need you to trust me, okay?” He nods quickly, almost desperately. “Okay. One step at a time. I want you to take as deep a breath as you can and hold it for a minute. Can you do that for me?” He gives a short, jerky nod, watching me with wide eyes as he complies. His entire frame shudders as it fights to keep gasping for air, but I rub soothing circles on his back, and the fitful convulsions stop after a few seconds. “Okay. Now let it out slowly. Nice and easy.” I can feel the hiccup in his chest as he releases the breath, but it’s much less desperate and strangled than before. “Good. Now in slowly. Feel how I’m breathing? Try to breathe with me.” He collapses against my chest, his head falling to my shoulder as he obeys without question, shuddering violently. “That’s perfect,” I murmur, hugging him tighter. “You’re doing great. Just keep breathing for me, okay? I’ve got you.” I continue to murmur to him as gradually, his trembling slows, and he doesn’t have to fight so hard for even breaths. “You doing okay?” I ask softly. His grip on me tightens, and I smile. “I’m not letting go. Just asking.” It relaxes again, and he nods. “Good.” We stay that way a little while longer, and suddenly he stills against me. “Better?” I murmur.

He nods against my shoulder, sighing softly. “Please don’t say anything about this,” he whispers tiredly.

“I’m not judging,” I chuckle softly. “You must be exhausted.” No sooner have I said it than I feel him go limp in my arms as he once again slips into unconsciousness. Deciding that untangling myself is not worth the risk of disturbing him, I reach around and pick up my book, reading it quietly over his shoulder as he sleeps.

After a couple more hours he comes around again, groaning. It takes him a minute to get his bearings, but when he does he bolts away from me, nearly falling off the bed in the process. I manage to grab his wrist and keep him from cracking his head open on the floor as a whimper escapes him, his free hand clutching at his ribs. “Hey, take it easy. It’s just me.”

“I can see that,” he growls out, panting.

I sigh, releasing him. “Try to slow down your breathing. It’ll help with the pain.” He glares, but takes my advice anyway, and after a minute the tension in his face eases. “Are you alright?”

“Peachy,” he mutters from between clenched teeth. I watch, amused, as he struggles to his feet. “Well, this was fun, but I’ll be going now.” I wait patiently, watching as he takes careful steps towards the door. It’s clear that each step pains him greatly, and he has to take a break in between each one. When it’s been five minutes and he’s only made it halfway to the bedroom door I sigh, getting up from the bed and picking him up, careful to avoid his injuries. “HEY!” he shouts, struggling weakly in my grip. “Put me down! Just because you’re a giant doesn’t mean you can manhandle people whenever you want!” I pause by the side of the bed waiting for him to relax. “Sam, if you don’t put me down right now, so help me God I will smite your ass right here!”

I roll my eyes. “Look, we both know you don’t have the juice for that. I think I’ll take my chances. So why don’t you take the hysterics down a notch and stay still before you hurt yourself worse? I’ll put you down when you agree to stay still.” He makes a desperate, petulant sound, but stops fighting my hold. Gently, I set him down on the bed. “There we go. Now, what happened to you Grumpy? Did Dopey and Sneezy abandon you?”

“Really Sam? Now you want to start with the short jokes?” he spits.

I chuckle softly. “Alright, sorry, that was a cheap shot. I am trying to help. So what happened?”

“Why should I tell you?” he grumbles. “Not like you’d care.”

I sigh softly. “Gabriel, don’t do this.”

“Don’t do what?” he asks stubbornly, staring steadfastly at his lap.

“Shut me out like this. I saw you, Gabe. You put on this big tough act all the time and expect people to believe it, but I saw what’s behind the curtain earlier, and I know exactly how terrified and lonely you really are. I’m the one who was here to help you through it, remember? I brought you here, and I stayed with you, and I calmed you down. I’m pretty sure I’m the only person on the planet you can say that about. I saw you, and I’m still here. Don’t push away the only person who’s still willing to help you.”

He stays quiet for a minute. “You saw that, huh?” he says finally.

“Well, the shaking and gasping for breath and holding on to me like your life depended on it was a big clue.” He winces. “Gabriel,” I sigh, “I just want to help.”

He looks up at me finally. “Why?”

“Why what?” I ask, puzzled.

“Why…did you bring me here? Why did you help me? Why do you care?”

I watch him for a moment, thinking. “I brought you here because I knew if we left you in that room, something a lot nastier than us would have found you. I helped you because…you desperately needed it. And I care because…I don’t buy it.”

He frowns. “Buy what?”

“Your act. The mask. I see right through that. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I’m the only one who’s ever questioned it.”

He thinks, the corners of his mouth turning up. “Doc,” he murmurs.

“What?”

He smirks. “If I’m Grumpy, then you have to be Doc.”

I can’t help but smile. “Don’t you think I’m a little tall to be an elf?”

“It’s a dwarf, Gigantor. At least get it right.” He chuckles softly, then looks up at me, his smile fading. “Listen Sammy, I don’t…do this. The whole…feelings thing…it’s not me. And believe me, you don’t want a part of this.”

He looks away, and I frown. “It’s Sam. And I think that’s my decision to make, don’t you?”

He looks up sharply, eyes wide. “Why would you…why would you want that?” he asks softly. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever been nice to you or anything. I make your life hell, and your brother’s life too. I’m nothing but trouble. Dean knows that. Why don’t you?”

“Because that’s what you want me to believe,” I answer. “This is what you do. You convince people you’re this big bad guy to keep them away. You want people to dislike you. And do you know why you do that, Gabe?” 

He cringes. “Don’t say it.”

“It’s because you’re scared. I’m not sure I’ve ever known anyone as terrified as you. And do you want to know what I think you’re so scared of?”

He groans, covering his face. “Please don’t, Sam. Whatever you do, just…don’t.”

“You’re afraid of being abandoned, aren’t you?” I ask softly. “You lost your home, and your family…and now you do everything you can to make sure you don’t lose anything else. And that includes making sure you don’t have anything to lose.”

He watches me silently for a moment. “You’re surprisingly intelligent for someone so big,” he says finally. “I would’ve thought that the oxygen would have a hard time reaching your brain.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re deflecting, Gabriel. I’m right, aren’t I?” He doesn’t answer, and I sigh. “Okay. Care to tell me how you ended up in a house full of demons?”

“Well, it’s….complicated.” I raise an eyebrow at him, and he sighs. “Alright, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll answer one of your questions if you answer one of mine.”

I smile, nodding. “Alright, fair enough. But you first.”

“I was…hiding. You know, my usual. I guess they caught the gossip that an archangel was on the run. You know how demons can be. They love torture. They’ll torture anything. The kind that’ll burn ants with a magnifying glass just because they can. But an archangel…” he frowns. “That’s a real prize. I slipped up, and they found me. There’s not a whole lot else to tell.”

“What about your Grace?” I ask. “Did they…take it?”

He smirks. “Aww, Sammy, look at you being all concerned for me. No. Like I said, they weren’t really aiming for anything. They used a spell to suppress it. It’s not permanent, but there’s not much I can do until it wears off, and I’m not really sure when that’ll be. Guess I got my wings clipped for a while. But don’t worry. I’ll be out of that cute little mop of hair of yours by tonight.”

“I hate to break it to you, Gabe, but you’re not going anywhere. You’re injured badly, and you need to rest. Besides, I brought you here to take care of you, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do, whether you like it or not. And it’s just Sam.”

“Why would you do that?” he asks, puzzled.

I smile. “Because I promised I wouldn’t abandon you. For once in your life, someone is going to keep that promise, despite your best efforts to undermine me. I also promised to answer something for you, so what’s your question?”

He considers it for a moment. “How did you know all that stuff about me from one look?”

I glance away from him. “You’re not the only one who’s lost almost everything they’ve ever cared about. I get it. Now, take off your shirt.”

He raises an eyebrow, his usual smirk returning. “Aren’t you at least going to buy me dinner first?”

“I need to check your wounds, you idiot,” I mutter, rolling my eyes. “You’ve done plenty of things that you shouldn’t have today, and I need to make sure you didn’t damage anything further.”

“I’m sure that’s all it is,” he grins. “Don’t worry Sammy. I like it when you get forceful.”

I sigh, looking away to hide the heat that creeps into my face. Seemingly satisfied, he chuckles, gingerly pulling his shirt over his head and trying to hide his cringe. I have to hold back a wince at the lash marks crisscrossing his skin, which are redder and more inflamed than before. I swallow, reaching out and pressing my hand to the back of his neck. He flinches away from it. “Easy Gabe,” I murmur. “I have to check.” He stays quiet and tensed as I lightly feel down his spine, watching him carefully for any signs of pain. “Anything hurt there?” He shakes his head. “Good. Lie down then.” He obeys silently, looking at everything but me. The quiet is almost unnerving. “You okay?” I ask.

“Yeah, fine.” He smiles, but there’s something off in it.

“Alright. Tell me to stop if you need to.” I carefully check all his wounds, readjusting the set of his ribs as gently as I can. “Okay, all done. You need to stay still for a while. The more you move the longer it’s going to take to heal. Does anything hurt?”

He groans, pulling his shirt back over his head. “Everything hurts, Sammy. I feel like I got run over by…well, you.”

I hold back a snort, digging in the medical bag for the pills I’m looking for. “Here, take these. They’ll help with the pain.” He swallows them, his head dropping back against the pillows as he moans. “You should relax for a bit. I’ll leave you alone for a while so you can rest.” Automatically, his hand closes around my wrist before I can move. “Unless…would you rather I stay?”

“I…don’t have any particular feelings on the matter,” he says quickly. “Not like I control your choices.” He smiles, aiming for light and casual, but missing by a large margin. It doesn’t match the look in his eyes or the tight grip he keeps on my arm.

“You know what?” I say slowly. “I already brought all these books in here. It doesn’t make sense to bring them out again. Would it bother you if I read here while you rest?”

His grip relaxes slightly, and this time the smile is genuine. “Not at all, Samsquatch.” Finally, he seems to relax, his eyes closing, and after a few minutes soft snores are coming up from him, his fingers still wrapped loosely around my wrist. When I gently try to untangle myself his grip tightens again, pulling my arm closer.

Dean knocks softly on the door, cracking it open. “How’s your new pet?”

I roll my eyes. “Could you possibly be any more insensitive about this? He’s…human, and scared, but I think he’ll be okay. He hasn’t tried to kill me yet, if you’re wondering.”

“That might be a record,” he snorts. His eyes fall to my hand, still carefully imprisoned. “What’s he doing?”

I shrug. “He didn’t want me to leave.”

He frowns. “Something about that seem off to you?”

“This whole situation seems off to me, actually. He says the demons we killed found him and were torturing him, for…I don’t know, shits and giggles, apparently.”

“You don’t believe him?” he asks.

I shake my head. “I don’t know. I guess it’s possible, but…I feel like there’s more going on here. I only got him to tell me a little before he fell asleep again. Maybe later he’ll fill me in.”

He nods, watching Gabriel for a minute before frowning. “What’s that?” he asks, lightly pulling up the back of his shirt.

“Lash marks,” I answer softly. “Not exactly demon torture 101, but somebody did it for a good long time. His whole back is covered with them. They were still bleeding when we got here. Took forever to clean them out. At least he was unconscious for that part.”

He winces a little. “Is he…you know, okay? For Gabriel, I mean?”

“I’m not really sure. It’s like half the time he’s the snarky, petulant pain in the ass we know, and half the time he’s just…someone else.” Gabriel mumbles in his sleep, drawing my arm closer. “Case in point. He’s so scared. It’s like…looking at the man behind the curtain.”

“Yeah, I see your point. Maybe he’s always been that way, and we just didn’t know. Maybe now there’s just a crack in the armor.”

I nod slowly. “Yeah, maybe. Whatever it is, he needs our help. I want to keep him here for a while.”

He sighs. “Well, if he’s human he’s gonna need food. What do you think he’ll eat?”

“Anything covered in sugar?” I guess. He chuckles. I look up at him, frowning. “What are you doing, Dean?”

He raises an eyebrow. “I just told you, I’m gonna get us some food. Having a senior moment, Sammy?”

“No, I mean…you’re getting food for him,” I explain. “You don’t like him. Why on earth would you do that?”

He sighs softly, glancing between me and Gabriel. “What do you want me to say, Sam? You were right, okay? He needs us. And if he’s human then I guess he’s pretty harmless for now.”

“Why the sudden change of heart?” I ask, puzzled.

“I…heard him earlier, when he was freaking out. I guess I realized how terrified he was. And you…you’re really good with him. He needs you. So I’m going to try to be civil.”

“Does that mean you’re going to stop giving me shit about it?” I ask.

He grins. “Of course not. It just means…I get it. You want your usual? I’ll figure out something he might like. Be back soon.”


	2. Fracture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome! I loved reading all your reviews, so here's another chapter for you. Fluffs abound!

The next time Gabriel wakes it’s more gradual, and he groans as he blinks up at me. “Morning,” I greet softly. He murmurs something unintelligible, closing his eyes again. “What was that?” I ask.

“Hurts,” he mumbles, frowning.

“We’ll give you something a little stronger next time,” I answer.

He glances up at me, alarmed. “Um…Sammy? I don’t feel so good.” I frown as he turns green, understanding and reaching for the trash can just a second too late.

A genuine whimper escapes him as I carefully help him into the bathroom, where he promptly sinks to the floor and heaves miserably into the toilet. I sit down next to him, rubbing his back lightly as he shudders, careful to avoid his injuries. “On second thought, maybe what we gave you was a little too strong.” He grumbles, his retching turning into dry heaves when there’s nothing left to expel. Little moans escape him with each one, and I lightly press a wet washcloth to the back of his neck, using another one to clean his face and frowning as his trembling. I dig through the medicine cabinet for a moment before finding what I’m looking for. “Here, put this under your tongue.”

He regards the small pill carefully. “This happened because you gave me medicine. Now you want to give me more medicine? Are you a sadist, Sammy?”

I roll my eyes. “Quit being so theatrical. It’ll help stop the nausea.” He hesitates, but takes it, closing his eyes for a minute until he relaxes, the medicine dissolving into his blood stream. “When’s the last time you had something in your stomach besides candy?” He thinks for a moment, starting to count on his fingers. “Never mind, I don’t want to know. Dean will be here soon with food. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

I help him up from the floor, steadying him against the counter as he rinses his mouth out. I reach for the hem of his shirt, and he slaps my hand away. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he growls.

“Trying to get these off so you don’t smell like vomit. We have to get you in the shower.”

He frowns. “There is no ‘we’, Samsquatch. You are not coming in the shower with me.”

I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Honestly, you’re so dramatic. Like I didn’t see it the last time?”

His eyes widen for a moment, and he glances down at his soiled clothes, realizing for the first time that they’re not his. “Did you strip me?”

“Not like what you had on was covering much,” I mutter. “It was no picnic for me either, but I didn’t have a choice. You can’t hold yourself up for more than a few seconds at a time, Gabe, and you can’t stay like that. Like it or not, you need my help.”

He crosses his arms petulantly. “I’m not getting in the shower with you.”

I sigh, praying for patience before taking a breath. “Fine. We can do it with a washcloth, but you still have to take the dirty clothes off here so it doesn’t get everywhere.” He grumbles, but finally moves to remove them, flinching at the hand I use to steady him.

“These aren’t even my underwear!” he moans.

“Gabe, you weren’t wearing underwear,” I point out. “Believe me, if you were I would have gladly left them on you.”

He pauses. “Oh, yeah.”

Reluctantly enough, he accepts my help back into the room, sitting down gingerly. “At least you missed the bed,” I point out cheerfully. Gabriel just grunts, attempting to clean himself while both avoiding his wounds and not shifting his ribs, a task which only serves to frustrate him. “Gabe,” I ask cautiously, “Will you let me help now?” He stares at me for a moment, but seems to realize he has no other choice. I feel him tense as I pick up the cloth, watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows nervously. “I’m not going to hurt you,” I assure him softly.

“I know,” he mutters, looking away. I carefully run the cloth down his throat and chest, avoiding his wounds and wiping away the cold sweat, and he sighs softly, relaxing a little.

“Okay, all clean. I’m gonna go throw those clothes in the wash and find you some clean ones. I’ll be right back.” His hand closes around my wrist again, but he doesn’t say anything. When I look back at him he’s staring at the wall. “I promise I’ll be right back, okay?” I say, softer. “Trust me.” Hesitantly, the grip relaxes, and I quickly throw the dirty clothes into the washing machine, humming to myself less for my benefit and more so Gabriel can hear that I haven’t left. When I return he’s half-asleep, but he startles awake when I settle next to him again. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I brought you clean clothes.”

He mumbles a thanks, but makes no move to put them on. “Hey…Sammy?” he says hesitantly. “I’m…sorry.”

I frown. “For throwing up? You don’t have to be sorry. It’s not a big deal.”

He shakes his head. “Not for that. I mean this whole…wanting you around thing. I really tried not to, but it just kind of…happened.”

“Gabe, I don’t mind sticking around,” I answer. “Although I would like to know why you act like I’m the last person you want to be around, and then when I try to leave you don’t want me to go.”

He swallows, and I’m pretty sure I see him blush. “It’s…complicated, Sammy.”

“Well maybe you could explain it to me,” I push. “Not like you’re busy doing much else.”

He frowns, his mouth opening and closing for a minute while he struggles with words. Finally, he sighs. “You know why.”

I nod slowly. “You know you don’t have to keep pretending, right? I know you’re used to it, but the cat’s already out of the bag here. I really don’t mind. I ‘d rather you be honest with me so I stand a chance of helping you.”

He looks up, searching my face for a second. “Can I still pretend in front of Dean?”

“If it makes you happy,” I chuckle.

“You can’t tell him,” he insists. “I’ll never live it down.”

I roll my eyes at him, but can’t help smiling. “Fine. If it makes you feel better, I won’t tell Dean or anyone else that you’re a real person with feelings.”

He considers it seriously for a second before nodding and shifting closer. “Okay. But only because I’m too tired to care about my dignity.” I chuckle, carefully wrapping an arm around his shoulders, relieved when he relaxes slightly. He makes a soft, pleased sound, pressing up against my side. “You’re very comfortable,” he mumbles.

“One of my many talents,” I answer. “Go to sleep. I’ll wake you up when Dean gets back with the food.” He sighs softly, grumbling about it, but it only takes a minute before he relaxes into sleep against me. He sleeps peacefully until Dean returns, raising an eyebrow at our position. “Shut up,” I mumble, gently nudging Gabriel awake. He groans, insistently pressing closer. “Gabriel, Dean’s here,” I say softly, chuckling when he springs away, stifling a whimper.

“Morning Sleeping Beauty,” Dean greets cheerfully, hiding his laughter behind a cough.

By this point, Gabriel has recovered enough to respond. “No need to flirt with me, Dean. I’ve already come home with you.” I snort, and he smirks at Dean’s annoyed sputter, his eyes falling to the bag in his hands. “What’s that?”

“Food,” Dean answers gruffly. “Real food,” he says in response to Gabriel’s excitement.

Gabriel whines like a child. “You’re human for a while, Gabe,” I chuckle. “You can’t just eat candy. I put a lot of effort into keeping you alive, and I’m not going to let your sweet tooth ruin it.” He pouts, but takes the food Dean offers, digging into it half-heartedly and steadfastly ignoring Dean’s careful watch of him.

“So,” Dean says finally, breaking the silence, “how’d you end up in the middle of that mess?”

Gabriel startles, realizing that Dean is speaking to him. “I, uh…I was telling Sammy. They were holding me captive.”

“But you weren’t restrained or anything when we found you,” Dean presses. “And we didn’t see any torture chambers in the living room.”

Gabriel looks down, but I think I catch the first hint of a blush on his face. “I was downstairs. When I heard the commotion I thought it would be a good time to escape. I guess I didn’t figure on the human part. I think I passed out somewhere towards the beginning.”

“It’s a good thing you’re so twitchy, or we wouldn’t have known you were alive,” I cut in. He stares at me, his face a mix of emotions as if he can’t tell if he should be offended or not, and I laugh. “Just saying, it’s a good thing you moved when you did. We kind of assumed you were already dead when we got there.”

“Must be my lucky day,” he mumbles, but he can’t stop the little twitch at the corners of his mouth. He finishes his food in relative silence, murmuring a quiet goodbye to Dean before he slips out. I find him watching me as I finish my own, his eyes sliding away each time they meet mine, only to quickly return. Finally, I look to him again and his gaze doesn’t drop, though he flushes. There’s a confusing clashing of emotions happening across his face. I raise an eyebrow at him, and he finally looks away. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” I murmur softly. “I just…is something bothering you?”

He bites his lip for a moment, contemplating, before nodding. “Yes…” he says carefully. His eyes flick nervously to the space between us, and he goes very still except for the slight tremble that runs through him. He rubs anxiously at the spot over his heart, and I watch him for a moment, perplexed, before the understanding slowly dawns on me. Slowly, I shift closer, hearing his breath stutter.

“Gabriel,” I say slowly, “Whatever it is…I know you don’t like talking about stuff that matters. You’re just like Dean. But if you wanted to…I wouldn’t mind.” His eyes widen just slightly, his breaths halting. Without warning, a sob wracks his frame, and then another, and he crumples in front of me like a bridge collapsing. Without thinking, I close the space between us, gathering him into my lap. He follows my gentle guidance obediently, ragged breaths falling against my neck as he clings to me tightly, desperate howls clawing their way out of his chest as he fights them. “Shh Gabriel,” I murmur, holding him securely against me. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.” He shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything understandable, shaking violently with broken sobs in between his cries. Dean bursts in, drawn by the feral sounds, but he freezes in the doorway, eyes wide in shock. He looks at me questioningly, and I shake my head, jerking my chin towards the door. He frowns, but nods, mouthing that he’ll be outside before closing the door softly behind him. I pull Gabriel tighter against my chest, stroking one hand through his hair, bringing it to rub soft circles on the back of his neck. He quiets just slightly, and I realize that this is exactly what he needs. “It’s okay Gabe,” I whisper. “You can let go. I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.” All at once, he relaxes in my hold, his pained howling easing into quieter sobs, still trembling but far less hysterical. I continue the gentle stroking motions, and it seems to soothe him into a more natural breathing pattern, though I still feel tears fall against my skin. I stay quiet for a while, giving him time to deal with his emotions, only offering soft, comforting words when his breaths start to shake. Eventually the tears stop, leaving only light trembling and soft gasps in their wake.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers finally.

“Easy Gabe,” I murmur, lightly brushing his hair back. “You don’t have to be sorry. You’re okay now. Deep breaths.” He nods, but refuses to allow any distance between us, only relaxing slightly when I lean down, instinctively kissing his forehead softly, the way I’d do with a frightened child. I hear his soft intake of breath before the tension leaves him, and he settles more comfortably against me. “You should rest,” I suggest. “I’ll stay right here.” He nods again, his breathing slowing further. I feel a feather-light touch, the press of lips against the pulse in my neck before he goes limp, relaxing into sleep. I startle a little at the tingle that runs through me at the touch, but don’t have too long to contemplate it before the door opens again, Dean peeking in cautiously. “He’s alright,” I whisper.

“What the hell was that?” he asks, warily sitting down beside us.

“I’m…not really sure,” I admit. “He was okay, and then he just broke down. I guess it all just caught up to him.”

“You think that was everything he kept hidden?” he mutters.

I nod slowly. “A good portion of it, I’d be willing to bet.”

“Goddamn,” he murmurs. “I thought we were messed up.”

“Well, at least he looks peaceful now. Hopefully he’ll feel better when he wakes up.”

Dean nods, frowning. “I can’t imagine he’d feel any worse. Sammy, are you sure about this? I mean, I know you want to help the guy out and all, but it kind of seems like he’s got a lot more baggage than we thought. I know you get attached to stuff like this, and you want to fix everybody, but…this is turning into more than we bargained for. What if you can’t fix this?”

I frown, tightening my hold on Gabriel, who shifts a little before settling again. “I have to try, Dean. No one else is going to. There isn’t anybody else. Maybe if there was, he wouldn’t be like this.”

He sighs softly. “Alright, fine. I just want to make sure you’ve thought about this. This is a lot to walk into.”

I nod, looking down at the sleeping angel. “I know, Dean. But if I don’t, he’s going to have to do it alone. I’m not going to let that happen.”

He nods. “Okay. Let me know if you need anything. Try to get some sleep.” He gives one more worried look before disappearing out the door. I watch the angel quietly for a while. “We’re going to do it together,” I murmur. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love,  
> TheSongSmith


	3. Soul Searching

Gabriel sleeps peacefully the entire night, only stirring when the sun starts coming through the window. He groans for a minute, cuddling closer before he stiffens. “Sam?” he asks cautiously.

“Yeah?”

He pulls back a little, blinking up at me with red, puffy eyes. “I feel awful,” he moans, gripping his head. “I have a headache the size of Texas.”

“That’s what crying does to you,” I murmur. “It’ll get better, I promise.”

He doesn’t seem to hear me for a moment, his eyes wide. “Did you say…oh no. Please God no. Tell me I didn’t…it wasn’t real…”

“You did, and it was,” I answer. “Though I’m not sure that’s a good reason to blaspheme your father.”

“I thought it was a dream!”

He wipes at his face almost violently, starting to pull away from me, but I manage to catch him before he gets far, and he stills. “Hey, slow down. Gabe, it’s fine. I understand. I know you don’t like being vulnerable. No one does. But nothing bad happened. It was just me. It’s okay.”

Slowly, he relaxes, shifting back into his previous place. “You’re serious?” he asks. “I had a meltdown on you, and you…don’t care?”

“Of course I’m serious. I get it. If you keep things bottled up long enough, there isn’t a damn thing you can do when it finally explodes. It doesn’t change anything. Actually, it made me feel useful. I’m just glad I was able to keep you breathing this time.”

He sighs wiping his face. “I’m really sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s okay,” I assure him. “But if you’d like to repay me, you can do me one favor.” He looks at me warily. “Next time, don’t let it get so bad. You can talk to me.”

He smiles a little, nodding. “Okay. I’ll try.” He frowns for a moment. “What am I doing in your lap?”

“Well, it seemed to help,” I chuckle. “And you haven’t moved away yet.” He flushes, starting to shift, but I stop him. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” I say quickly. “It doesn’t really bother me.” He hesitates, but nods, relaxing.

“Was…Dean here?” he asks, “When I was freaking out?”

“For a minute,” I admit. “He thought something happened to you. I sent him out. He’s not going to say anything about it.”

“You sound very sure,” he grumbles.

I chuckle. “I am. Asking about it would require talking about feelings. He avoids that as much as you do. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

He nods, his eyes falling lower. “What happened to your neck?”

I reach up to where he points, prodding lightly and wincing at the dull pain there. “I don’t know. You…kissed me.”

“I did?” he asks, frowning. “Why?”

“I was kind of hoping you could tell me,” I answer, raising an eyebrow at him. “It felt really weird too. Like when your foot falls asleep.”

His eyes widen for a moment as if he’s realized something, but he covers it quickly. “Sorry. I don’t know what that was about.”

“Are you lying to me?” I ask cautiously.

“Of course not,” he says hastily. “I was pretty out of it. I don’t know why I did that, or why you have a bruise there, but I apologize.”

I frown, watching him for a moment before sighing. “It’s okay. I think Dean is making breakfast. We should try to get you on your feet again. Care to join me?” He hesitates, but nods, gripping my arm tightly as he slowly stands up. He stifles a groan, taking a small step forward. “How is it?” I ask.

“Not as excruciating as I thought,” he answers. “I guess you really do know what you’re doing.”

I roll my eyes, taking another step forward with him. “Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

He just chuckles as we make our slow way into the kitchen. Dean glances up from his coffee, then grins. “Morning,” he greets, unusually cheerful. “How is everybody feeling?” Gabriel gives a begrudging grunt in answer, and Dean turns to me, frowning. “When did you get a hickey?” he asks, perplexed. “Were you…”

“This isn’t really polite breakfast conversation, Dean,” I mutter, cutting him off. Gabriel frowns to himself, but shakes it off.

“Okay, okay. Just asking. So, Gabriel, any idea when you get your wings back?”

Gabriel looks at him curiously for a moment. “Not really,” he admits. “They renewed the spell right before you showed up. I’d say a couple of days at the very least before things start to wake up. I can feel it a little more today, but I still can’t use it.” He glances at me, frowning again, but it passes. “Guess you’ll have me in your hair a little longer.”

After breakfast, I help Gabriel back into my room, resuming the book I was reading earlier. When I look up again, he’s staring at me. “What?”

“You haven’t slept since I’ve been here, have you?” he asks accusingly.

I shrug. “I’m fine. I’m a hunter. I don’t need that much sleep.”

“You’re still human. You need to sleep,” he insists. I start to protest, but he shushes me. “Sam, I’ll be fine for a few hours. You don’t have to stand guard forever. Go to sleep.”

I sigh softly, but I am tired, and the pillow is looking particularly inviting. “Alright, fine. But wake me up if you need something, okay?” He nods in agreement, picking up one of my books and starting to read while I drift off.

When I wake up again there’s a warm feeling spreading through my chest. I blink, taking a moment to focus before I register Gabriel’s face very close to mine, his hand pressed over my heart. I jump, and he flinches, startled. “Gabe?” I mumble, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Nothing,” he says quickly. “I was just…checking on you.”

I frown as the last of the warmth fades, strongly suspecting that he has something to do with it. “For what?”

“Just…curiosity,” he mutters. “I…got bored. Yeah. Sorry.”

Still half-asleep, it takes me a minute to realize that there’s something wrong with this, but the surprising amount of panic in his eyes is enough to convince me to let it go. “Okay. Um…are you okay?”

He relaxes a little, nodding. “Yeah, you didn’t miss anything. Just been reading.” Slowly, he smiles. “You know you talk a little in your sleep, Sammy?”

I groan. “What did I say?”

“Oh, nothing understandable,” he grins. “But you’re pretty adorable.” He flushes a little, as if realizing what he said, but shakes it off.

“Right,” I mumble. “Is it okay if I go get a drink real quick?” He nods, so I slip out to the kitchen, where Dean sits watching TV. I go into the fridge for a drink, then pause and look back at him. “Hey Dean? Has Cas ever…touched you?”

He goes still, then looks up at me, perplexed. “Are you asking me if I’ve been Touched by an Angel? The dude doesn’t molest me Sam.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. I just mean…he’s messed with your soul a few times, right?”

He considers it. “I mean…yeah, a couple of times. Why?”

“Well did you ever…feel it? What’s it feel like?”

He frowns at me for a moment before shrugging. “I don’t know, it’s weird. Kind of…warm and tingly. Why are you asking about this?”

I shake my head. “No reason. I was just…reading some stuff on angels, and I wondered.”

I walk quickly back to my room before he can ask any more questions, finding Gabriel staring out the window. His fingers move anxiously over his heart, like he’s trying to rub something away. He notices me in the doorway, the mask sliding smoothly back into place. “Back so soon?”

“My soul?” I mutter.

He falters for a minute. “Are you offering or something?”

“You were messing with my soul. That’s what you were doing when I woke up.”

He frowns. “I wasn’t…messing with it. I was just…looking.”

“Why, Gabriel? What is it you’re not telling me here?” He doesn’t answer, covering his face with his arms, and I sigh, softening my tone. “I know something isn’t right with you, Gabe. What’s going on? Why were you looking at my soul?”

“Because of your fucking hickey!” he hisses, muffled.

I pause, puzzled. “What does that have to do with anything?”

He doesn’t answer, staying curled in on himself, and I sigh, uncovering him from the blanket heap and picking him up. He yelps in surprise. “What are you doing?”

“Do you really want Dean to overhear this conversation?” His mouth shuts mid-protest, and he shakes his head, allowing me to take him further into the bunker, when we’ve gone far enough I carefully set him down. “Okay. Now tell me what’s going on. All of it. Why does this stupid bruise make you so upset?”

“Because I did it,” he sighs. “I shouldn’t have been able to do it at all, and I didn’t know I was doing it.”

I frown. “What exactly did you do?”

“It was…my Grace. I think. It was…reaching out for you.”

“But…I thought you said you couldn’t use your Grace.”

“I can’t!” he shouts, exasperated. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! I didn’t do it, it did!”

I sigh, sitting down next to him. “Okay, take it easy, I’m just trying to understand. So what does this mean? And what does it have to do with my soul?”

Gabe swallows, looking away. “They didn’t just suppress my Grace, and it wasn’t just demons. It was…witches too, and apparently they have a personal vendetta against me.”

“What did they do, Gabriel?” I ask cautiously.

“They said I won’t get my full powers back until I’m bonded,” he mutters. I frown in confusion, and he sighs. “Angels have this thing…sort of like your soulmates. Except instead of getting married, angels become bonded to each other for eternity.”

I nod slowly. “So…why is this a terrible thing?”

“You can’t force someone to bond with you, Sammy. They have to want to. And even if I could go back to heaven, which I can’t, no one would want to bond with me. I’m never getting my wings back.”

“Don’t say that,” I say softly. “We’ll figure something out.” I wrap an arm around his shoulders, and he leans into me. “So what does all that have to do with whatever you were doing to my soul?”

He sighs. “After I realized what happened with your bruise, I had to check if maybe…”

“If maybe it was me.” I finish. He nods, flushing. “Is that…possible? Can an angel bond to a human?”

“I don’t know, Sammy. It doesn’t matter anyway. I couldn’t ask you to do that, and you don’t want to. I don’t know why my Grace reached out to you. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, I told you we’ll figure it out,” I murmur, hugging him lightly. “We’ll get you your powers back.”

He raises an eyebrow at me. “You’re not…mad?”

“Of course not. You didn’t hurt me or anything, and it wasn’t your fault. Don’t worry. I’ll figure something out.”

Slowly, he smiles. “You’re a good friend, Sammy. Thanks.”

“Sure. Come on, let’s get back before Dean comes looking for us. We’ll never hear the end of it.” He chuckles, getting up and following me back to my room. He sighs as he sits down on the bed, watching me. “What?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Nothing, I just…I’m sorry. For the whole soul thing. I should have asked. And I should have told you the truth.”

“It’s alright,” I assure him. “You’re just not used to being honest yet. But I promise we’ll figure out how to fix this.”

He smiles. “I know you will, Sammy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! More on the way soon so remember to let me know if you liked it!
> 
> Love,  
> TheSongSmith


	4. Birds of a Feather

I wake to something tickling the back of my neck. I groan trying to roll away from it, but it only makes it worse. “Cut it out, Gabe,” I mutter, trying to swat at him without looking. He gives a sleepy “Hmm?” and then a sharp gasp when I make contact with the object. It feels like…feathers? I cautiously turn around, taking in his stricken expression and the gigantic wings spreading out behind him. Spreading maybe nine feet to either side, one of them is squished up against the headboard and the other extends across the room. They shimmer gold when he shifts uncomfortably. He stares, wide-eyed, at the place where my hand is still pressed against the feathers until I jerk it back. “You…have wings,” I manage.

“You can see them too?” he asks, startled. I nod, and he groans. “That’s what I was afraid of.”

“Why can I see them?” I ask, puzzled. “I thought you couldn’t…you know…”

“I can’t,” he grumbles. “I’m just as surprised as you are.” He pauses, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment and then slowly opening one, sighing. “I can’t control the manifestation.”

“Is it…bad that I can see them?” I ask cautiously.

He frowns. “It’s…complicated. This is not how they’re supposed to be. They’re…bound by human perception.”

“So…bad?” he just groans, and I nod. “Right. Okay. So no ideas where they came from then.” The feathers quiver in what seems like frustration, and I reach out, smoothing my hand over them. Gabriel hisses, and I jerk back again. “Sorry. Does it…hurt when I touch them?”

He flushes, looking away. “No, not really. Just…not used to it.”

I nod, watching them move for a moment. “Stay still,” I instruct, slipping off the bed and ducking underneath one wing to circle around behind him. His posture straightens a little as I examine the area they seem to be protruding from. “Are they heavy?” I ask curiously. He shakes his head. I reach out again, then pause. “Can I touch them?”

“Be careful,” he mutters.

I nod, slowly sliding my hand over to the spot where skin meets feathers. He gasps again, and I pause. “Should I stop?” He hesitates, but shakes his head, so I begin to very lightly explore the structure, and slowly he relaxes as I make note of the palpable bone and muscle structures, working my way from base to tip.

He groans softly as I feel around the soft feathers at the base of the other one, and I freeze. “Not bad,” he murmurs, pressing into the touch a little.

I chuckle softly, following the bones up. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re enjoying this.”

“’Course not,” he murmurs. “Just being my normal agreeable self. You finding anything interesting back there?”

“Well, the bone structure seems pretty normal for wings, except the coracoid seems to be fused into the scapula…”

“English, Bigfoot,” he snaps. “I’m not an exotic bird.”

I sigh, rolling my eyes. “The bones seem to have blended into your shoulder blades and ribs.” They give a slight flap of impatience, and I feel the muscles on either side of his spine clench. “And it looks like the muscles have integrated into here,” I continue, lightly running my hand down the proper area and feeling him shiver. “It looks pretty seamless. Which, I’m guessing is probably not a great thing. But if you’re stuck with them, at least you’ve got the structure to support them.” Cautiously, I press a little harder into the feathers, and an odd little mewl escapes him. “Too much?” He shakes his head, relaxing as I lightly stroke through them. “Just one more piece of the puzzle,” I sigh.

Gabriel startles at the loud knock on the door, his wings snapping back behind him. “Everybody better have pants on!” Dean yells cheerfully before opening the door. He stops, taking in Gabe’s wingspan for a minute. “Finally got it up?” he asks finally.

Gabriel growls at him, and I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose for a minute while I try to muster the energy for this. “Of all the things…What did you want, Dean?”

“Didn’t mean to interrupt anything. Just wondering if you wanted breakfast. I’m hungry. But…seriously, what’s with the wings? Does that mean you’re getting your mojo back?”

“No,” Gabriel snaps, “It does not.”

“We’re still trying to figure it out,” I explain. “They just appeared this morning, and apparently they won’t go away.”

“Well I was going to ask if you wanted to go to the diner, but I guess that’s a no. So homemade it is. Good luck with…all that.”

He backs out of the room, and Gabriel gives another quiet growl. “It’s not appropriate to growl at people. Use your words, Gabriel,” I mutter, stretching and yawning.

He looks at me for a moment. “You should go.”

“Go where?” I ask, puzzled.

“To the diner. With Dean,” he clarifies. “You shouldn’t have to stay because of me.”

It takes all my energy not to roll my eyes. “Because I haven’t eaten in enough shitty diners for a lifetime? Believe me, I’m not missing out on anything. And I need coffee. Besides, I don’t have to do anything, I want to. So are you coming or not?” He hesitates for a moment, but nods, letting me pull him up.

We hear voices down the hall, and when we get to the living room Dean is talking quietly to Cas, whose eyes widen as he takes in his brother’s appearance. “Gabriel…” he murmurs. “You’re…” Gabriel makes a soft, almost desperate noise, and Cas stops, staring at him for a minute. Some understanding must be made, because Cas gives a short nod. “May I speak with you in private?” he says finally. Gabriel nods, releasing my arm in favor of Cas’ and following him down the hall.

“What do you think that’s about?” I murmur to Dean.

He shrugs. “I dunno. Angel business, I guess. Coffee?”

I nod, sipping at my cup until they return. “Sam?” Cas murmurs, motioning to the other side of the room.

I leave Gabriel and Dean to fight over bacon and follow him over. “What’s up, Cas?”

He looks past me to Gabriel, frowning. “How is he?”

“Uh…probably about as well as can be expected. He’s kinda freaked out. I’m working on finding a way to break the spell. Is…everything alright? You seem kinda worried.”

There’s something dark in his expression when he looks back to me, but he covers it quickly. “Of course. It’s just…startling to see him like this. I never imagined this was in the cards for my brother. And thank you, for what you did. Dean told me that you quite possibly saved his life.” His expression softens a little. “Be patient with him,” he murmurs. “He is trying.”

I nod, looking back to where Gabe triumphantly bites into a piece of bacon stolen from Dean’s plate. “Yeah, I know. I will.” He nods, casting one more worried glance over my shoulder before disappearing.

When I sit back down, Dean looks up from where he’s sulking over his plate. “Everything okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, of course. Except someone appears to be eating exclusively bacon and maple syrup.”

Gabriel looks up from his plate guiltily, halfway through swiping a piece of bacon through the syrupy puddle. “What? Bacon is protein! You said I had to eat more of that!”

“I didn’t mean you could eat just bacon. Eat eggs. Eggs are good for you.” He opens his mouth to protest, but shuts it at my glare, pouting at the eggs on his plate.

“What’s the justification behind the syrup?” Dean asks.

“The syrup is…it’s…”

“Liquid sugar,” I chuckle. “There’s no justification for that.” He sighs, and I resume talking to Dean until he glances back at Gabriel’s plate, snorting. “Gabriel, if I turn around and you’re putting maple syrup on your eggs, so help me…”

After breakfast, Gabriel settles on the couch, quickly falling asleep to a show about candy production. Dean nudges my shoulder, nodding at him. “He okay?”

“He’s trying very hard to be,” I sigh. “I think he’s just freaking out. And I can’t blame him. I’ve been trying to find something about this angel bonding thing or the spell they might have used, but I haven’t found anything.”

“Did you say angel bonding?” Dean frowns, thinking. “I was reading something about that…” He walks over to the table, digging through the pile of books before pulling one out triumphantly. “In here. Cas gave it to me a while ago. Wait, why are you looking that up? Does it have something to do with him? Are you his mate?”

“His ‘mate’? No, Dean. It’s…he said the spell on him would only break after he was bonded, but he doesn’t seem to believe that’s going to happen. I’ve been trying to figure out a way around it, but…wait, why were you reading about this? Cas gave it to you?”

He looks away, busying himself straightening the books. “That’s probably your best bet,” he says, ignoring my questions. “Why didn’t you ask Cas about it?”

I shrug. “I dunno, I guess I figured it was kind of…private. Sacred or something.” He just shrugs, and I settle in a chair, flipping through until I find the right chapter. “Huh. Apparently, very rarely, angels have human mates,” I read out to him.

He chokes on his drink a little. “Huh. Interesting.”

“Yeah. But it sounds like more of a destiny thing. Like an angel can’t bond with any angel, or any human. It’s sort of…predetermined. That can’t be fun.”

“I don’t know,” Dean answers. “At least you know for sure that you’re supposed to be with them.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t really help us,” I sigh. “We’d have to figure out who his mate is supposed to be, find a way to get them down here, and convince them to do it.”

He nods thoughtfully. “What if they were already down here? He’s been living down here for a long time. He could have a human mate.”

“Sure, I guess, but there’s a lot of humans to go through, and what if they aren’t even born yet, or they’re a baby or something? It could be centuries before he’d find them.”

“Let’s hope they’re somewhere close then,” he mutters, trying to extricate the TV remote from Gabriel’s hand.

I chuckle, carefully picking him up and carrying him down the hall. He mumbles something, pressing closer when I try to set him down. Rather than try to untangle myself, I sit down, leaving him in my lap and opening the book. He stirs, his wings twitching, and I stroke lightly through the feathers until he settles again. I’ve almost made it through the chapter when he wakes up. “Why do I always end up in your lap?” he grumbles.

“Good question. You seem to like it,” I chuckle.

His eyes fall to the book, and he frowns. “Where'd you get that?”

“Cas gave it to Dean. Lots of interesting things in it, you know. Speaking of, what was Cas so eager to talk to you about?”

He shrugs looking away. “You know, angel stuff. Nothing important.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Are you lying to me?”

He opens his mouth to argue, then sighs. “Yes.”

“So what did he really want to talk about?”

He groans. “I don’t…he was…surprised at my condition. He seems to think that the appearance of my wings was part of the bonding process.”

“Yeah, I was reading about that,” I nod. “But isn’t that a good thing? It means whoever you’re supposed to bond with isn’t far, right? How close does it have to be? A couple of miles maybe?”

“Closer than that,” he mumbles. He quickly goes red, shifting away from me and occupying himself with picking at the blanket.

I frown, watching him as the idea slowly dawns on me. “Gabe?” I ask cautiously. He doesn’t answer, refusing to look up. “God, It’s me, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know!” he moans. “I don’t know what’s happening to me, and it’s not fair, especially not to you.”

“That’s why you cut Cas off earlier,” I murmur. “He knew. And when you were looking at my soul, that’s what you saw. You’ve been hiding it all this time?” He stays quiet, and I sigh, taking a breath before reaching out for him, surprised when he flinches away. “Gabriel, it’s okay,” I say softly. “I’m not mad.”

Cautiously, he looks up, puzzled. “I’m…confused.” He frowns, staring at me for a minute. “You’re supposed to be upset.”

I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of that, which only seems to confuse him further. “Look, before we completely freak out, let’s just figure out what that means exactly. I’ve read this whole thing and I still don’t really know what the deal is. So can we talk about this for a minute?”

He sighs, nodding. “I just…You don’t want to do this, Sam, and it would be terrible of me to ask for it. To be bound to me forever, you’d…you’d hate me more than ever, not to mention that it wouldn’t work. Yes, I’ve known for a while. But I didn’t want you to think you had to do this. You’re already intent on saving me, because you’re a good person, and that’s what you do. I know that’s the only reason I’m here. I didn’t want you to do it when it’s not what you really want.”

“Gabriel, I…if I didn’t want you here, you wouldn’t be here, and that has nothing to do with saving you. I could’ve asked Cas to deal with you. And despite what you seem to think, I don’t hate you. It’s actually been kind of nice to have someone other than Dean to talk to lately. So this bonding thing…is it…romantic?”

He flushes a little. “Between angels, no. They aren’t big on rose petals. But the few times it’s happened between an angel and a human…yes.” He watches me cautiously, like he’s expecting me to hit him.

“What?” I ask.

“That doesn’t bother you? Even a little? I mean, under normal circumstances I could get a new vessel, but now I can’t until I get my powers back. For God’s sake, I have a penis, Sam. You’re telling me that doesn’t freak you out?”

I chuckle at how flustered he is. “Gabriel, take it easy. You’re getting way ahead of yourself here. And yes, I happen to be aware of your anatomy. You weren’t wearing underwear when you arrived, remember?” He huffs. “Look, it’s…complicated. But I wouldn’t ask you to get another vessel, even if you could.”

“But…why not?” he asks, exasperated. “You’re not gay!”

“And you’re not a man. And how do you know who I’m attracted to? You know what, never mind. That’s not the point. This vessel is just…who you are. It wouldn’t be right if you didn’t have it anymore. You gotta calm down. We’re still figuring this out. So say we do this thing. What happens?”

“Well…I’ll be around a lot more,” he starts hesitantly. “Dean won’t like that very much.” I chuckle, and it seems to calm him a little. “It’s…basically a very deep bond between my Grace and your soul. I’ll know when you’re in trouble. I’ll be very protective of you, which, considering your track record, might be a good thing. We’ll be linked forever…emotionally, spiritually. That kind of thing. We were sort of…made for it, I guess. Like those little building toys that snap together. They like to call it two halves of a whole. I know, it’s dumb.”

I nod thoughtfully. “Well that…doesn’t sound terrible, Gabe. And I’m really not mad at you or freaking out or anything. I’m not…saying yes yet, but I’m not saying no. Can we just…take a while to get used to it and see what happens?”

Slowly, he nods. “Yeah. Okay.” He pauses. “It won’t work unless you’re really ready for it.”

“How do we know if I’m really ready for it?”

He smiles. “I have a feeling we’ll know. So we’re…okay?”

“Yeah, we’re good,” I chuckle, hugging him lightly. “Hey, was that why Cas gave Dean that book? Cause he knew you wouldn’t tell me?”

Gabriel chuckles. “No, actually he gave him the book because he’s…Well, I think they’re trying to figure some things out too.” He sighs, leaning against my shoulder. “You know, I’ve imagined this conversation a hundred times. It never went so well in my head.”

I laugh, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “You underestimate me. Come on, it’s time we check on your injuries.”

He frowns when I stand up. “Where are you going?”

“To the lab. There’s an x-ray machine there.” He follows me further into the bunker until we get to the lab. I turn to find him frowning in the doorway, wings flapping anxiously as he glances around at the equipment. I smile, reaching out for his hand. “Hey, it’s okay. Trust me.” Slowly, he nods, smiling a little as he takes my hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember to drop me a line if you like it! I love hearing from all of you :)
> 
> Love,  
> TheSongSmith


	5. Kindred

When I wake up in the morning, Gabriel is fast asleep, snoring softly and drooling on his pillow. I chuckle, taking a picture of him before getting up, leaving him in bed and taking the book from the nightstand into the kitchen to start making coffee. On the way I pass Cas, who’s sitting on the couch, squinting at the TV as he flips channels. “Good morning Sam.”

“Morning Cas,” I sigh. “Where’s Dean?”

“Still asleep,” he answers, not looking away from the TV. “I thought I would wait here. The last time I waited in his room he seemed rather alarmed.”

I chuckle, humming quietly to myself as I make coffee before sitting down next to him. “So, you and Dean then?” I ask, holding up the book.

He nods. “Your brother does not wish for you to know yet.”

“No offense or anything, but I’ve known for years,” I chuckle.

He cracks a small smile. “As have I.”

Hey Cas,” I ask after a while, “Can I ask you about something?”

He looks up, surprised, but nods. “Of course, Sam.”

“This whole bonding thing…it’s kind of just…destiny, right? It’s always been something that’s going to happen?” He nods. “And both sides have to want to do it, right? So then aren’t I destined to want it?”

He considers it for a moment, searching my face. “I suppose that is one way to look at it. Do you doubt the possibility that you might desire a bond with Gabriel?”

“Well I…no, not really. I guess I’m just kind of…iffy about it. I don’t like the fact that it was all planned out.”

Cas looks at me for a minute, contemplating. “Perhaps you need to hear what I told Dean. It is true that your bond with Gabriel has been written since the beginning. But that does not mean that you have no power over it. I’ve known about Dean and myself since I pulled him from hell. It’s taken years for him to even be ready to hear about it. Recently, his soul has shown signs of being ready. But I will not continue with him until he has decided for himself that he wants this. Just because I could successfully bond with him at this point does not mean I will. I care about him far too much to take that choice away from him. Gabriel feels the same way about you. He may have had odd ways of showing it in the past, but he is not going to take advantage of you. He will wait as long as you need him to. You are not a passive observer in this process. The power is yours, Sam. And the bond isn’t just about him. It’s not something that you’ll have to deal with. It’s something you’ll enjoy. It’s going to be good for both of you, whenever you choose to do it. Don’t worry.”

I smiles, reaching out and hugging him tightly. He hugs me back awkwardly. “Thank you Cas.” I sigh, letting him go. “Do you think he’ll be okay?”

He sighs back. “Which one?”

“Good point,” I chuckle. “Either?”

He considers it. “Dean will, eventually. I think he is now, actually, but he doesn’t wish to admit it to himself. And Gabriel is…working on it.”

“Yeah.”

“He’ll be okay too. He’s just…not used to such powerlessness. It’s difficult to explain. For any angel, this would be stressful, but for an archangel it can be…earth-shattering, as you say. Going from acting to being acted upon is…challenging. On top of that, he now has you to contend with. On one hand it’s good that he now has someone to confide in. But on the other hand, he believes that he’s coercing you into something you do not want. It upsets him more than he would ever tell you that you’ve been so kind, and now he’s given you another problem to deal with. He sees himself as the villain in this.”

“But he’s not!” I insist.

“I know that, Sam. And he does too. As I said, he’s working on it. You are helping more than you know.”

I sigh softly. “Honestly Cas, I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.”

“I know. But it doesn’t matter. You have still been kind to him. It will take him a while to get used to that, as it did with Dean, but he will learn. Don’t worry so much. He’ll figure it out.” I nod as Dean drags himself into the kitchen, aiming for the coffee. “Good morning, Dean,” Cas greets.

He grumbles back a response, but Cas seems unfazed. “Good luck,” I murmur to him, getting up and relocating to the library. I immerse myself in angel lore, only startled out of it when I hear my name being shouted down the hallway. I get up to investigate, only to be stopped when a disheveled and panicked-looking Gabriel bursts through the doors, out of breath and panting. “Woah, hey. Take it easy,” I murmur, hugging him lightly. “What’s wrong?” He doesn’t answer, just sighs and holds onto me tighter. “Gabriel, why are you freaking out?”

“I just…Dean said you went somewhere…”

I chuckle, shaking my head. “Dean is not exactly the most eloquent in the morning.”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t find you!”

“Wait, how long were you looking?”

He shrugs, glancing at the clock. “An hour or so. This place is huge!”

“Yeah. Always check the library first, Gabe.”

He sighs. “I thought you were mad at me about this whole thing.”

“You thought I…left?” He nods, and I sigh, steering him towards a chair. “Okay, sit down. First of all, I’m not mad. I told you that.”

“Yeah, but…” he starts.

“But nothing. I’m not mad at you. Understood?” He nods reluctantly. “Secondly, this is my house, Gabe. I live here. If I was mad at you, why would I be the one to leave? And thirdly, don’t listen to Dean in the morning. He’s not good at expressing himself unless he’s had at least two cups of coffee. Okay? You alright?”

He nods. “Sorry. I might have overreacted a little.”

“Just a little,” I chuckle.

“So…” he asks, swinging his feet under the chair, “How are you doing?”

“Are you asking me if I’m freaking out?”

“No. Just…wondering.”

“I’m okay,” I assure him. “Are you?”

He nods. “What are you researching for? I thought we figured this out.”

“Well, we did, but not completely,” I explain. “I’m still seeing if I can find the spell and reverse it somehow.” He frowns for a moment. “It’s not about getting out of the bond,” I add. “It’s just…I feel kind of bad asking you to wait while you don’t have your powers. If I could find a way to get them back for you sooner, we could take our time.”

Now he frowns in earnest. “We can still take our time, Sammy. I don’t know what you think, but I’m not going to rush you on this, no matter how much I’d like my powers back. The fact that you’re even willing to consider it at all is a miracle, especially after all the crazy shit I’ve put you through. It’s a chance I don’t deserve. I don’t mind waiting.”

“You haven’t…” I start to protest, stopping at his pointed look. “Okay, maybe you have, but it’s okay. I believe that you wouldn’t try to force me into something I’m not ready for. I just wish I could get your powers back sooner rather than later. It can’t hurt to look into it, right?”

He nods slowly. “Yeah, I guess it can’t hurt. Found anything yet?”

“Nothing promising, but I’m still looking.”

“Yeah.” He hesitates. “Well, I…guess I’ll leave you to it then.”

“You can hang out if you want,” I say quickly. “I mean, I’m sure there’s something here that’ll interest you.” He considers it for a moment, then nods, venturing into the bookshelves to look. I go back to my research while I wait. When I look up again, I realize that he’s been gone for a while, and follow the soft sounds further into the library. I find him sitting crossed-legged on the floor between the shelves, stacks of books scattered around him as he focuses intently on the one in his lap. He’s so engrossed that he doesn’t notice me until I sit down next to him. He jumps, looking up like he’s been caught doing something bad. “Guess you found something after all,” I chuckle.

He flushes, looking back down at the book. “Yeah. Got distracted.”

“It’s okay. Just thought I’d check on you, make sure you weren’t squished under a shelf somewhere. I’ll leave you to it. There’s some chairs up by me if you get uncomfortable.” He nods, and I stand up, leaving him to his books. A little while later I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he sneaks over to one of the armchairs, curling up in it happily. I watch him covertly for a while before clearing my throat. “Wanna go somewhere?”

He looks up, startled. “Where?”

I shrug. “I dunno. Anywhere that’s not here would be nice. We could go to town, get you some clothes that actually fit you, run some errands.”

He looks at me like I’m crazy. “Have you forgotten about our little problem?” he asks, shaking out his feathers.

“You can wear one of my jackets. It’ll cover them. Come on, you’ve been in here for weeks. It’ll be fun.” He hesitates, but agrees, dressing quickly. The jacket is far too big on him, but it serves the purpose, and soon we’re climbing into the Impala. I watch him stare out the window as we approach town. “You okay?” I ask softly.

He shrugs, pulling the coat tighter around himself. “Never done this before.”

“You’ll be fine,” I assure him, reaching over to squeeze his hand. “Don’t worry.” I park in a spot along the main street, standing behind the car while I wait for him to get out. “So, where do you want to go first?”

He looks up and down the street for a moment. “How should I know?”

I chuckle softly. “Why don’t we start with some clothes that actually fit you so we don’t have to keep stealing Dean’s?” He nods in agreement, so I start down the street in the right direction. Gabriel hesitates, but follows close behind, casting nervous glances around and pulling the oversized coat in tight. When we reach the crowded store, his hand grips the back of my jacket, and he presses closer. I reach back, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “It’s alright,” I murmur, steering him in the right direction. “No one is going to pay any attention to you if you don’t look like you’re doing something bad. We’re fine.”

He nods, relaxing a little and browsing around the section. He catches me watching him and frowns. “What?”

“Nothing,” I answer. “I’m just still not used to seeing you nervous. You’re usually so confident and loud.”

He flushes slightly. “Well usually I have quite a bit of power backing me up, and I’m not usually trying to cover massive wings in the middle of a crowded store.”

“I understand,” I assure him. “I’m just saying, it’s…different.” He seems satisfied with that, and he slowly relaxes as we pick through the clothes. I wait patiently for him to try them on and decide which ones he likes. We end up leaving with several bags full of clothes, which I drop off in the car. “So, what’s next?” I ask. He doesn’t answer, and when I turn I find him staring at a storefront. He looks back at me and points, and I realize it’s an ice cream shop that’s caught his attention. “Gabriel…” I start.

He pouts. “Pleaseeee? You said I could pick where I wanted to go!”

I sigh, but he’s so eager that I can’t say no. “Alright,” I chuckle. “Let’s go.” He skips over excitedly, and I laugh as I follow him. Thankfully the shop is mostly empty, and he seems a bit more like himself as he speaks to the woman behind the counter. He smiles as he thanks her, and we settle at a small table near the back. He digs into his monster of a sundae, grinning. “I think this is the happiest I’ve ever seen you,” I chuckle.

“Well duh,” he grins. “You gave me ice cream.”

“Good to know you’re not hard to please,” I tease. “Hey, I have one more quick errand to run before we go. It’s pretty boring. Do you think you’d be okay here for like, five minutes?”

He shrugs. “Sure. I’ll chat up the old lady. Maybe she’ll give me more ice cream.” I roll my eyes at him, slipping out and returning with a small bag to find Gabriel with a bag full of candies. I thank the woman again before we get back in the car, and he digs into the candy happily.

“I’m going to regret this later, aren’t I?”

He just laughs. “Come on, you didn’t have to hear her talk about her cats!”

Later, while Gabriel is meticulously folding his new clothes, I hold out the small bag to him. He takes it carefully, reaching inside and pulling out the phone I bought. He stares between me and it for a moment, surprised. “You bought me a phone?” he asks finally. “Why?”

“Well, if we’re going to do this, you’re going to be here for a while, and I figured at some point you might want to go out on your own.”

“Where would I go?” he asks, puzzled.

I chuckle. “I don’t know. Out for a walk, or to visit your new friend the cat lady. Doesn’t really matter. I just didn’t want you to feel like a prisoner or something. So I figured this way, if you need something, you can just call. My number is already in there, and Dean’s. Cas too, but he usually doesn’t answer.”

Slowly, a grin spreads across Gabriel’s face, and he hugs me tightly. “Thanks Samsquatch.”

“No problem,” I answer, hugging him back. “I’m gonna go talk to Dean. You need anything?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. I’m kinda on a sugar high. I think I’m gonna go read for a while.”

I chuckle as he starts towards the door. “You know, you don’t have to wear the coat anymore.”

“I know,” he shrugs, disappearing down the hall.

A few hours later, he still hasn’t emerged from the library, so I go in to check on him. I quietly open the door to find him fast asleep, curled up in the chair with the jacket cast to the side and his book dangling precariously over the edge. I chuckle to myself, gently taking the book from him and marking the page, then picking up the jacket and draping it over him, careful not to wake him. It manages to cover his entire frame, and he curls up tighter beneath it, mumbling. I think I hear my name in it somewhere, but it’s more peaceful than the feverish muttering of his nightmares, so I leave him be, closing the door quietly behind me. When I return to the living room, Dean looks up curiously. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I nod. “He just fell asleep in the library. I didn’t want to disturb him.” I pause, looking at him for a minute. “So, you and Cas…”

He nods. “Yeah. You and Gabriel, huh?”

“Yeah. It’s weird. I thought I’d be more freaked out. And he certainly seemed to think I’d be angry.”

He chuckles. “Well he knows how you get about stuff you can’t control.”

“I guess. But the thing is, it doesn’t really bother me all that much. It’s kinda been nice having him around. Do you think that’s weird?”

He shrugs. “I dunno, Sammy. We deal with a lot of weird in our lives. That’s probably furthest down on the list of weird shit. As long as you’re happy.” He pauses. “So you think you’re gonna do it?”

I consider it for a moment. “Yeah, I think so. Not right now or anything, but…I haven’t come up with a lot of reasons not to. So…yeah. You?”

“Yeah,” he says after a moment. “I mean, Cas is a good guy, and it’s not like…”

“You don’t have to explain to me,” I say quickly. “I understand.”

He just nods, staring off into space for a moment before heaving himself off the couch. “You want a beer?” he mumbles.

“Sure. Thanks,” I answer, accepting the end of the conversation.

Dean hands one to me, settling on the couch again. “Hey Sammy?” he says after a minute. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing the right thing.”

I smile, nodding. “Good to know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hearing from you guys really brightens my day! If you get a chance, drop me a line and let me know what you think!
> 
> Love,  
> TheSongSmith


	6. Merry/Bright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! It's a (day after) Christmas miracle! Sorry for my long absence, I had finals and now I'm getting ready to venture into the jungles of Ecuador (really, I just got a yellow fever shot...). But I'm updating all of my stories soon, so enjoy!

Gabriel and I wave from the couch as Cas herds Dean out the door on their impromptu vacation. “I can’t believe Cas actually convinced Dean to go,” I say once the door closes behind them.

“Yeah, well the farther they are from us the better,” he answers. I frown in confusion, and slowly it dawns on me. “Oh. Ew.”

“Tell me about it,” he chuckles. “Little Cassie doesn’t really understand the concept of too much information. Anyway, we’ve got the place to ourselves at least.” He reaches out for the remote, pressing the play button and curling up against my side again to watch the movie. Over the past couple of weeks he’s gotten slightly more comfortable with the idea of this, and he seems to be relaxing a little. Halfway through the movie he falls asleep, mumbling nonsense to himself. “Sam…” he sighs, shifting.

“Hmm?” I answer out of habit.

“He’s…big…” he mumbles. I chuckle, hugging him closer to my chest. “I love him…” he murmurs into my shirt.

I pause, looking down at him, but he’s still asleep. “Yeah,” I murmur back after a minute. “He loves you too.”

He goes quiet after that, only occasionally snoring. Just after the movie ends he stirs and blinks up at me groggily. “Oh. Hi.”

“Hi. Sleep well?”

He nods, chuckling. “Yeah. I always say you make the best pillow. What’d I miss?”

I pause for a moment, watching him. “Did you know you talk in your sleep?”

He frowns. “Oh no. What’d I say?”

I chuckle, hugging him lightly. “Oh, nothing. Just saying. You’re very cuddly.”

He rolls his eyes at me. “Well maybe you just take up so much space that it’s impossible not to cuddle with you.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s it. Hungry? We can go try that new Indian place in town. Dean never wants to go.”

“Sure. Just let me wash up first, okay?” I nod, and he hoists himself off the couch, leaving me behind to think. Things have been going well since I realized I’m supposed to bond with Gabriel. It was weird for a while, but I’ve grown fond of him lately, and once he relaxed about it he seems to be enjoying himself a lot more. I never thought I’d say it, but being bound to him forever is sounding less like an obstacle and more like something I want to do. “Ready to go?” he asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” Once he stopped eating candy full time, Gabriel discovered that there are other foods that taste good, and Indian food is definitely on that list. I watch him shovel food into his mouth, laughing. “Gabe, it’s not going anywhere. Slow down.”

“I can’t help it!” he insists. “It’s so good!”

We stop by the ice cream shop on the way back so that Gabriel can mooch free candy off the nice cat lady before heading home. Back in the bunker, I wash up before finding Gabriel already in my bed. He smiles, waiting for me to climb in before pressing closer until he can rest his head on my chest. “Night Samsquatch,” he yawns.

I chuckle, putting an arm around him. “Night.”

 

* * *

 

 

After a few days Dean and Cas return, and the four of us settle into a comfortable routine. They’re both obnoxiously cheerful, which Gabriel claims is only temporary, and it’s starting to get annoying. Gabriel and I take shelter in the library, but after a while he starts to get restless, and when his book fort crashes to the ground he grins sheepishly, cleaning up the books and announcing his intentions to go for a walk. “Make sure you take your phone with you,” I remind him. “If you get tired I’ll come pick you up.”

He chuckles, shrugging on his coat. “Sammy, I’m not quite that fragile. I’ll take it with me and I’ll be back soon.”

He slips out, and I return to my book, only jolting out of my thoughts an hour later when my phone starts ringing. I pick it up quickly, a little jolt of worry running through me. “Gabriel? You okay?”

He pauses for a moment. “Sammy, I…I’m sorry.”

I frown. “Gabriel? What’s going on?”

“You know the posse that had me when you and Dean found me?” He sighs. “Well, it looks like they’re getting the band back together, and they’re right on my tail. I don’t have much time, so I just…I wanted to tell you…I love you…”

I have to swallow the lump in my throat. “Stop that. Where are you? I’m on my way.”

“Sammy, I’m sorry, but you can’t fix everything,” he says quietly. “At least, not this time. I just wanted you to know. Thank you, for everything you did.”

I grip the phone tighter, trying to remember to breath. “This isn’t over, Gabriel. Wherever they take you, I’m going to find you.”

“I don’t know what you’re going to find.” For the first time he sounds frightened. “I’m sorry Sam. You’re better off not looking.”

I start to argue, but the call ends abruptly, and I lash out at the remnants of the book fort before stomping down the hall in search of the others. Dean frowns when he sees me. “What’s up?”

“Where’s Cas?” I growl out.

“He had to pop upstairs for a bit. What’s going on?”

I frown, gripping the edge of the table tightly. “They took Gabriel, and I’m going to get him back if it kills me.” I glare upwards, shouting at the ceiling. “CAS. DOWN. HERE. NOW.”

Surprisingly, there’s a soft flutter and suddenly Cas appears beside Dean. “Sam? Is something wrong?”

I take a breath, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Gabriel. Where. Is. He?”

He frowns, shaking his head. “I have no idea where he is.”

“Well can’t you find out?!” I shout.

Dean glares at me, stepping in front of him. “Dude, don’t yell at Cas. He didn’t do anything.”

I sigh. “Okay, I’m sorry Cas. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I’m just freaking out here.”

He nods, awkwardly patting my hand. “I understand, Sam. Unfortunately, because Gabriel’s grace is bound, he is much more difficult for me to find. Do you have any ideas of where to start looking?”

I think about it for a moment. “I think I’m going to go back to where we found him the first time, see if I can find any clues. It’s the only lead I have.”

“You sure you want to go?” Dean asks cautiously. “I’m sure Cas and I could do it.”

I nod, looking between them for a moment. “I’m sure. Look, you already have your angel. Mine is out there, and he’s scared and alone, and it’s my job to find him. You guys don’t have to come.”

Cas looks at Dean for a moment, who nods. “Get in the car. We’re going.”

* * *

 

When we drive close to the unassuming house, I’m shocked and relieved at the commotion that can be heard from inside. “No way,” Dean mutters. “They brought him back to the same place? Have we ever been that lucky before?”

“If it’s the witches, they didn’t know about us. They weren’t here, remember? They must have thought he’d escaped on his own. They didn’t know anyone would come looking for him.”

I think a quick prayer as I grab weapons out of the trunk, slowly creeping towards the house. We follow the commotion into the basement, hiding behind piles of junk as we take in the scene. The three witches have their back to us, and they’re standing around Gabriel, who’s tied to a chair and looking slightly disoriented. I don’t know what spells they’re using on him, but it looks bad, and my chest tightens at the trickle of blood running down his face. Dean and I line up the shot, careful to keep Gabriel well out of the way. I give him a nod, and the witches go down quickly. Gabriel looks up, puzzled, and we wait for a moment to see if anyone else comes to investigate, but the house is quiet. When I step out from behind our cover he sighs in relief. “Sammy! Thank God. I thought I’d never-”

He’s cut off when I kiss him hard, catching him so off-guard that it takes a minute before he responds. Dean makes a noise of protest, and I turn to glare at him. “You, shut up. And _you_ ,” I continue, jabbing my finger into Gabriel’s chest. “Don’t you EVER scare me like that ever again!”

Still in shock, Gabriel just nods. “O-Okay…”

“Anyone else waiting in the wings we should know about?” Dean asks while I examine the cut on his forehead.

Gabriel shakes his head. “Nope. You’re looking at the cavalry.” He frowns, tugging at his bonds. “As kinky as this is, would you mind...?”

I nod, taking a knife out of my pocket and slicing through the ropes. Cas nudges Dean, who nods. “Hey Sam? Why don’t you take Gabriel back to the car and clean him up? We’ll clean up this mess.”

I smile, nodding, and Gabriel doesn’t even protest when I pick him up. He stays quiet when I sit down in the backseat with him, eyeing me suspiciously. “What?” I ask finally, carefully cleaning the blood from his face.

“You…kissed me.”

I chuckle. “Yes, I did.”

He frowns at that, wincing as I clean the wound on his forehead. “But…why?”

“You know why,” I answer, examining the rope burns around his wrist. “I know it was kinda sudden, but in my defense, I spent several hours today thinking you were dead, so…”

He smiles a little. “So, on the phone…”

“Yeah?”

“When I said…”

“Uh-huh. Hold still so I can bandage this.”

“But you really…”

“Yep.”

“Oh.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Any more questions?”

He grins. “Would you mind doing it again?”

I laugh. “I think I can manage that.”

My hand slips from his forehead to cup his jaw as I lean in, kissing him softly. He sighs, relaxing into the kiss and responding eagerly. There’s an odd little twinge in my chest, and he pulls away, raising an eyebrow at me. “Did you feel that too?”

I nod. “I think so. It wasn’t…unpleasant.”

He chuckles, leaning in to kiss me again. “Agreed.” He shifts closer, practically sitting in my lap, and I hug him tightly as he fits himself there neatly, his head resting against my chest. He frowns for a moment, looking up at me. “Sammy, I’m okay. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack like that. Calm down.”

I chuckle, nodding. “I know. I just…God, I was so sure you were dead.”

His expression softens a little. “So why’d you come looking for me then?”

I shrug. “Because there was a chance, however small, that I was wrong. And I wasn’t just going to give up on you.”

“You’re good at that,” he murmurs, sighing softly. “You never give up on me.” He pauses for a moment. “Sammy?” he mumbles into my shirt. “I really do love you, you know that?”

I smile, hugging him closer. “I know. I love you too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I answer, kissing his temple softly. “They do anything to you I need to know about?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. They didn’t get very far. Apparently they’d had a tracking spell on me and were waiting for me to go out alone.”

“Yeah, about that. You’re not doing that again for a long while.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. You think we have to smoke-signal Happy and Dopey in there?”

“I’m sure they’ll come find us eventually. I’m kinda happy just like this.”

 

* * *

 

 

Back at the bunker, Gabriel insists on taking a shower immediately, which gives me just enough time to discuss my plan with Dean and Cas. When he comes back, dressed in an old sweatshirt of mine that he stole weeks ago, he looks around, puzzled. “Where is everyone?”

“Well, since tomorrow is Christmas, Cas convinced Dean that we need a tree,” I explain.

He chuckles, sitting down beside me on the couch. “Christmas already, huh? Where are they going to find a tree at almost midnight?”

I shrug, tugging him closer. “I’m sure they’ll think of something.” We watch TV quietly while I nervously watch the clock. When it finally passes midnight I grab the little box from the table. “Hey Gabe?”

“Hmm?” he answers, not tearing his eyes from the screen.

“Merry Christmas.”

He frowns for a moment, confused, before he sees the box. “Oh, Sammy, you didn’t…”

“I know. Before you say anything, just…open it.”

He smiles, taking it carefully and pulling the cover off, picking up the folded piece of paper inside. He unfolds it, reading it over and glancing up at me. “Yes?” he asks. “Yes to…oh.” Slowly, a grin spreads across his face. “Really? You’re sure?”

I laugh. “If you ask me that one more time, I’m taking it back. If I learned anything today it’s that I don’t want you going anywhere. I’m sure.”

He hugs me tightly, grinning. “Okay. Me too. But…would you mind waiting a few days? I just…really have something I want to do.”

“Should I be worried?” I chuckle. “I thought you’d want your grace back immediately.”

He shrugs. “I do. But I only get to do this once. Do you mind?”

“Of course not. I just wanted you to know that I’m ready.”

He smiles, leaning up to kiss my cheek softly. “Thank you. That’s the best present ever.”

We stay cuddled up together until Cas comes through the door, carrying a ton of bags and followed by a cursing Dean, who drags a giant Christmas tree into the living room. “I can’t believe you actually found a tree at this hour on Christmas Eve,” I laugh, opening the bag Cas hands me to find decorations. “What are we going to do with all this stuff?”

“We are going to have a real Christmas,” Cas announces. “As a family.”

He goes off to argue with Dean about where to put the tree, and I glance down at Gabriel, who’s smiling to himself. “What?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Nothing. Just…I think this is shaping up to be the best Christmas ever. And I was there for the original one. Now _that’s_ a story.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to review! I love hearing from you!
> 
> Love,  
> TheSongSmith


	7. Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! I have survived the jungles and returned to bring you this extra long chapter with some long-awaited moments in it. And some sexytimes. You know I can't resist. Enjoy!

“Where are we going?” I ask again as Gabriel pulls me by the hand through the woods surrounding the bunker. “It’s cold.”

“Hush!” he answers. “You’ll see when we get there!”

I chuckle, following him a few minutes longer before the trees open up into a clearing. He’s been on edge all day, and is refusing to tell me why it’s necessary to take a walk in the woods right now. We make footprints in the late-winter snow as we cross to the center of the clearing, and I glance around at the frosted branches surrounding us. “Wow. It’s beautiful, Gabe. Thanks for showing me.”

He nods, glancing around for a minute. “Yeah it is. Actually, I kinda wanted to talk to you about something.” He looks at me anxiously, biting his lip.

“Yes?” I ask, pulling my coat tighter around me as it starts to snow again. “Is this about the bonding thing? Because if you ask me if I’m sure again I’m going to slap you.”

He flushes a little, looking away. “No. I mean, yes, it’s about the bonding, but not that way. I know you’re sure. I just wanted to…talk about it for a minute.”

“Okay,” I say slowly. “What about it?”

“Well, I…you know, because you’re human, it means I’m going to have to…touch you, to do it.”

I nod. “Yeah, I know. Cas filled me in. Maybe a little too much.”

“Right. So that’s…okay? Because I know we haven’t…”

“Yeah. I can’t say it doesn’t make me nervous. I mean I haven’t…but…yeah. It’s okay. I’ve known about it since before I said yes. It doesn’t change anything.”

He nods slowly. “Okay. Good. Well I know it’s kind of a big deal for you to…do that. And also to bond with me.” I start to roll my eyes at him, and he nudges my shoulder. “I know, I know. You love me and you want to do it. Just hear me out. I’ve been thinking, and since you’re willing to make that kind of commitment to me, I thought I should be willing to give one to you. I love you too, and it’s only fair.”

“Did you…have something in mind?” I ask, puzzled.

He nods, blushing. “Yeah, actually. Bonding is sort of the way angels say that they love each other and want to be together forever. And since you’re doing that for me, I thought maybe I could do it for you the way that humans do it.” He rummages in his pockets for a minute before coming up with a small box, then clears his throat and slowly sinks down to one knee in the snow. “I love you, Sam. Grace or not, this is more than just a way to get my powers back. You’ve been kinder to me than anyone I’ve ever known, and I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. I don’t have to be an angel, or a trickster, or the comedic relief with you. I can just be me, and that’s something I’ve never had before.” He bites his lip, opening the box and holding it up. “And since I’m going to be around forever, I was sort of hoping you’d consider marrying me.”

I freeze for a moment in shock, staring down at the shiny silver band glinting up at me from the box. Gabriel looks away, and I can tell that he’s holding his breath. “I…wow,” I murmur, trying to wrap my head around this. “Can I…ask a question, before I answer?” He raises an eyebrow at me, but nods. “What happens to us when I die?”

“You’ll come to heaven with me,” he answers matter-of-factly.

“But what if I don’t…you know…”

Gabriel chuckles. “Sam, you’re the mate of an archangel. I don’t care what you do; you’re going to heaven. Trust me on that one.”

I nod slowly, taking a deep breath. Glancing down at the ring again, I smile at the pair of tiny wings engraved in it. “Okay. Yes. I mean, not immediately, but…yes.”

He grins, taking the ring from the box and putting it on my finger. “Deal.” He stands up, brushing the snow from his pants before kissing me softly. “I love you Sammy.”

“I love you too,” I chuckle. “Now, let’s go home before you catch pneumonia.” 

* * *

 

Back at home I take a quick shower, pulling boxers on before climbing into bed. Gabriel glances over at me, subtly shifting closer and kissing me softly. “What’s that for?” I ask when he pulls away.

“Nothing,” he shrugs. “Just felt like it.” He bites his lip for a moment, then reaches over, lightly running his fingertips along my collarbone. I smile, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he slowly strokes along my bare torso.

“See?” I murmur. “I’m not freaking out.”

He nods, his fingers moving lightly over my ribs. He makes a thoughtful sound, cautiously pressing a soft kiss over my heart. I chuckle, running my hand through his hair. “What?”

“Nothing,” he grins. “Just thinking that fighting monsters must be some hell of a workout.”

I run my fingers through his feathers lightly, chuckling at his shiver. “Yeah, it is.” He flushes as my hand slides down his side. “Maybe you’re the shy one,” I tease.

“Me? Nah. No way. I’m good. To borrow a phrase from The Miracles, I’m a love machine.”

I can’t help but laugh at that, pulling him up to kiss him. “Well I guess we’ll see about that, won’t we?”

He smiles. “I guess we will. Goodnight Sammy.”

 

* * *

 

In the morning, I wake up to find Gabriel fast asleep and lying completely on top of me, his cheek pressed over my heart. I chuckle, brushing his hair back lightly as he stirs. “Mornin’ babe,” I murmur.

He blinks up at me, surprised for a moment, before grinning. “Morning. Sorry, am I squishing you?”

I laugh, kissing him softly. “Do you really think you could?”

He chuckles, nuzzling into the crook of my neck. “Probably not, but I’d move if you wanted me to.”

“Nah,” I murmur, hugging him tighter. “You’re good.”

“Pays to have a personal giant,” he sighs.

“Good to know.”

He nods, taking a deep breath before looking up at me. “Hey Sammy? How do you feel about the beach?”

 

* * *

 

 And that’s how I find myself, several hours later and with a little help from Cas’ mojo, standing on a private island with Gabriel grinning at me like the Cheshire cat. “What do you think?”

I look around for a moment, stunned. “Wait, this isn’t the same place Cas took Dean, is it?”

He laughs. “Of course not. That’s gross. This place is just for us. I had a little help, of course, but I think it came out well. And when I get my powers back we can come here whenever we want.”

I chuckle, pulling him closer. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.” I glance down the beach, reaching for his hand and slipping my shoes off. “Let’s take a walk.”

He nods, rolling up the bottoms of his pants and falling into step beside me, watching the water wash over our feet. I stay quiet for a while, thinking, and he glances over at me. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I answer quickly. “Just…thinking.”

“You sure? ‘Cause you look kinda upset.”

I shrug, squeezing his hand. “Just…wondering how things are going to be different. After you get your powers back.”

He frowns a little. “What do you mean? Why do things have to be different?”

I sigh softly, sitting down at the water’s edge and pulling him down with me. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just afraid that things will change once you get your powers back. That you won’t feel the same way. I know it’s stupid.”

He nods slowly, staring out at the water. “Oh. I get it. And it’s not stupid. We didn’t get along so well when I had my powers. I was kind of a jerk.” I shrug, and he sighs, gripping my hand tighter. “Things are different now, though. You made me different. And I’m not going to go back to the same person I was once I get my powers back. I won’t ever go back to that person. You’re important to me, Sammy. I love you, and that won’t change just because I get my mojo back. The only thing that will be different is…if you wake up one morning and want Belgian waffles, I can pop off to Belgium to go get them for you.”

I chuckle, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. “That sounds nice. And I’m sure you’re right. I guess it’s just…it’s been a long time since I’ve let myself care about someone like that. I don’t want to lose it now.”

“I know, Sammy. And you won’t. I promise.”

I smile, leaning in to kiss him softly. “Okay.”

“Okay.” He sighs, leaning against my shoulder and watching the waves for a minute. “Hungry?” he asks finally.

I chuckle. “Starving.”

He grins, pulling me up from the sand. “Me too. Let’s go.”

I follow him into the kitchen, and he grins sheepishly as I take in the giant feast in front of me. “Woah. I half-expected it to be mountains of candy. How many people are you expecting, Gabe? This could feed…everyone.”

He laughs, nudging my shoulder until I sit. “Just us. And there will be time for candy later I wasn’t really sure what you’d want, so I had Cassie arrange for just about everything. We all know my cooking skills aren’t exactly up to par.”

I chuckle at the memory of the fire in the kitchen the last time Gabriel tried to cook. “You know I’m not picky. And you didn’t have to do all this.”

He shrugs. “I know. But I thought…We only get to do this once, you know? I wanted it to be special.”

“I think you’ve spent too much time as a human,” I tease him lightly. “You’re going soft.”

He makes an indignant sound, and one of his wings comes around behind me to smack me in the back of the head. “I am doing no such thing. I’ve always been a romantic at heart.”

“Uh-huh. Suuuuure you have.”

Gabe smirks, grabbing me by the shoulders and kissing me hard. When he pulls away again he raises an eyebrow at me. “Well?”

I grin. “I’d like to retract my earlier statement.”

“I thought you would. Now, are you going to eat or not?”

 

* * *

  

After dinner I pull Gabriel out onto the beach to watch the sunset, after making him promise never to tell Dean about it. He sits down in the sand with me, settling between my knees so he can lean back against my chest. He sighs softly as I wrap my arms around him, relaxing against me, an endearing habit he can’t seem to control. “It _is_ beautiful,” he murmurs after a while.

I nod, turning to kiss his cheek softly and watching as a little gold spark travels through his wings. “Um…”

“Yeah, they’ve been doing that,” he answers. “It seems that, though my Grace is inaccessible to me, it has enough juice left to make its approval known.”

I chuckle, running my fingers lightly through the feathers. “Well I’m glad to know it approves.”

“Of course it does,” he answers. “You’re kind of a catch, you know.” He hesitates for a moment, then turns his head and presses his lips softly against the pulse in my neck. There’s an odd and strangely warm flutter that goes through my chest at the movement, and before I know what I’m doing my fingers are cupping his jaw, bringing his lips to mine. He makes a surprised sound before turning halfway to make it easier, his fingers tangling in my hair. When he pulls away there’s an almost childlike wonder in his eyes. “Sammy…”

I shush him softly, pulling him in for another, softer kiss. “Let’s go inside, yeah?” I suggest. He nods, leaning in to kiss me again before standing up. He wraps his arms around my waist like he’s afraid I’ll run away, and I chuckle softly, pulling him close and kissing his forehead as we meander back to the house. We find our way into a bedroom, and suddenly Gabriel stops, hugging me hard. I hug him back gently, stroking my fingers through his hair. “Babe? You okay?”

He takes a breath before pulling away from my shirt enough to answer. “Yeah,” he mumbles, slightly out of breath. “Yeah, I think so.”

I kiss the top of his head, walking back towards the bed until I can sit down at the edge, pulling him into my lap. “Talk to me, honey. What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head, pressing closer. “It’s nothing, really. I just…I guess it just caught up to me. This is crazy.”

I chuckle, rubbing his back lightly. “Which ‘this’ are we talking about?”

“I don’t know. The whole thing. But mostly this part,” he answers, gesturing vaguely to the bed.

I have to watch him for a moment before I understand, because I’m so unused to seeing that expression on his face. “Gabe, are you…nervous?”

“No!” he shoots back defensively. “Well…maybe. I don’t really know. I’m sweating and I think I might throw up, and my heart is doing this…thing.”

I bring my free hand up, pressing it over his heart and feeling it hammer against my palm. He looks up at me like he’s waiting for a diagnosis. “Definitely nervous,” I tell him. “But I don’t know why. Tell me what’s going on.”

He sighs softly. “I just…I don’t know. We’re going to do this, and it’s going to change everything. And I don’t want to hurt you or something, and I’m human, and…it’s just everything.”

I nod, lifting his chin to kiss him softly. “It’s okay to be nervous. I’m nervous too.” He considers this, lightly pressing his hand to my chest and smiling faintly at the heartbeat. “I know this is new for both of us, and things are going to change, but not everything will. There’s one very important thing that won’t change.”

“Yeah? And what’s that?” he asks softly.

“The fact that I love you,” I murmur back. “And that’s kind of the point, don’t you think?”

A slow smile spreads over his face, and he nods. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“Good. And about you being human, just think of it as a different perspective. You only get one chance to experience it as a human. So we’ll take it slow and see what happens. Are you gonna be okay?”

Instead of answering, he grabs onto the collar of my shirt, pulling me down to kiss me again. “I love you Sammy.”

“I love you too,” I murmur, pushing at his shoulder until he moves farther up the bed. He smiles, flushing pink when I lean over him, pulling at my shirt until I let him remove it. I reach for the hem of his, and he goes redder as I pull it off. One hand slips to his side, stroking lightly along his ribs as I kiss him again. “Good so far?” I ask, tilting my head to kiss softly along his neck and shoulder.

He gives a quick little nod as his breath stutters. “G-Good,” he agrees.

“Good.” I smile, watching him as I slowly kiss a trail down his chest, lightly pressing my hips down against his. He gasps, his eyes fluttering closed for a minute as his fingers wind into my hair. “ _Sammy_ …” he breaths, like he’s afraid of speaking too loudly.

I chuckle, glancing up at him. “Yes?” He smirks, and before I know it he’s flipped us over, straddling my waist and running his fingertips lightly over my skin. I squirm and he chuckles. “That tickles!” He laughs, pressing a soft kiss over my heart before continuing over my chest. He pauses for a minute, then dips his head lower, his lips wrapping around one of my nipples and sucking lightly. I groan, surprised, and he glances up curiously. “Well don’t stop!” I chuckle, threading my fingers into his hair encouragingly. He grins, moving over to flick his tongue over the other one, pleased at the response. “You know,” I murmur. “With all the _Casa Erotica_ and everything I’d have thought sex would’ve lost the wonder by now.”

He chuckles softly, kissing and biting his way up my neck. “Of course not, Sammy. I’ve never had sex with _you_ before. It’s completely different. Like learning a new game.”

I gasp as he sucks at my ear. “Something tells me you’re… _ahhh_ …going to be something of an expert by the time we’re done.”

He pulls back a little, smirking. “I think you may be right.”

My hands run slowly over his skin as he explores, committing him to memory. After a while he looks down, his fingers lightly toying with the waistband of my jeans, before glancing up at me. I smile, moving my hand to the button of his. He flushes, but nods, and I pop the button, shoving them down and raising my hips to let him pull my own off. I drop them to the floor, and when I look back he’s staring at me. I follow his gaze down to the rather obvious bulge outlined in my boxers, feeling the heat rush to my face. “Sorry, I…” I start, but he shushes me, lightly running his fingers over the thin cotton fabric. A moan escapes me before I can stop it, and he looks up.

“I knew you were a giant, but _shit_ Sammy!” Suddenly I can’t stop laughing, and after a minute he joins in, laughing until tears stream down his face. I stroke his cheek lightly, catching my breath. He sobers quickly when I trace my fingers over the front of his boxers, his eyes fluttering closed for a minute. “Sammy, please…” he groans.

I nod, slowly sliding the fabric down and ghosting my fingers over his hips. “Still good?” I ask cautiously.

A growl escapes him as he shoves his boxers the rest of the way off. “For fuck’s sake Sammy, shut up and touch me already!”

I chuckle, wrapping my hand around him and grinning at his gasp. “Well that much I can do.” I look up at him as I start stroking slowly, watching the pleasure spread over his face. Cautiously, his hand returns, trembling slightly as it strokes over the fabric at the same pace as mine. He swallows, growing bolder when I groan, and the touch grows a little more sure. “You know,” I manage, “I think those might be in the way. You wanna take them off for me?” He nods quickly, sliding them down and tossing them beside his. The gold glow around his feathers grows brighter as he wraps a hand around me, matching my rhythm and smiling at my moan. Leaning down, he flicks his tongue around the head, and my free hand slips into his hair, tugging hard as I curse under my breath. “So how does this…work?” I manage as his lips wrap around me.

“Hmm?” he responds, making me gasp.

“I mean, I know we probably have to…you know, go through with this, but…do you have to…or do I?”

He pulls up slowly, considering it for a moment. “I don’t think it particularly matters,” he answers, tracing light patterns along my inner thighs. “Just personal preference, I suppose.” He blushes slightly. “I’m okay with it, if you…”

I shake my head. “No, that’s okay. I’ll do it.”

He pauses, tilting his head at me in a very Cas-esque fashion. “You sure? I know it’s kind of a big deal, and you haven’t done it before.”

“Neither have you,” I point out. “But…I can try. Besides, I wouldn’t want to break you,” I chuckle.

He makes a face at me. “You’re not _that_ big,” he chuckles.

“Your expression begs to differ,” I grin, stroking him slowly. He groans, and I toss him the bottle from the nightstand. “Just…go slow.”

He nods, grinning back. “If you insist. But next time it’s my turn.”

“Deal.”

He nudges my knees further apart, popping the cap on the bottle and carefully coating his fingers. “You’re absolutely certain?”

“Gabe…”

“Right, right. I’m not supposed to ask that. Okay. Just…tell me if I should slow down. Don’t let me hurt you.”

I nod, gasping at his hesitant touch, cold and slick. He glances up, worried. “Good,” I murmur, taking a deep breath. “I’m good.”

He nods, slowly increasing the pressure and watching me carefully as I relax. A soft moan escapes me as one of his fingers slides smoothly into me, and he pauses to check on me before he cautiously starts moving. “Have you ever…tried this before?” he asks.

I shrug, gasping as he moves deeper. “Not…really…” He raises an eyebrow at me. “I mean, not…farther than this, and only by myself. Why do you ask?”

He chuckles softly, leaning in to kiss my thigh as he moves a little more surely. “Oh Sammy, you naughty boy. I ask because you seemed a little less nervous about it than I expected.”

“I was just… _ahhh…_ curious. Believe me, I’m plenty nervous. But I know if I don’t relax it’ll… _fuck_!” I pant as he carefully works a second finger in beside the first.

“Sorry! Too fast?” he asks, frowning.

I shake my head, taking a breath. “No, I’m fine. Just...”

He nods. “I know, it’s tight. It’ll get better,” he murmurs, lightly massaging between my hips. “I won’t move until you relax. Just breathe.” He reaches out, stroking me slowly with his free hand before his head dips down to wrap his lips around me again. I moan softly, threading my fingers into his hair and tugging lightly as he sucks hard. After a minute or two I feel myself start to loosen up around his fingers, and I groan as he slowly starts moving them, watching me carefully.

“ _Ahh…_ Gabe, please…”

He frowns, pausing. “Am I hurting you?”

“No,” I chuckle. “I just want you to hurry up.”

He laughs, rolling his eyes. “Well you’ll have to be patient.”

I pout, pulling him closer to kiss him again and grunting at the change in angle. “But baby…want you…” I whine.

“And you’ll have me, just as soon as I’m sure I’m not going to hurt you.” I open my mouth to protest again, but get cut off when he adds a third finger, hissing softly. The discomfort is quickly forgotten, though, when his fingers push up, dragging over my prostate and making me see white for a moment. I moan loudly, shuddering, and he chuckles. “Not so bad now, is it?”

I whine in answer, gripping the sheets tightly. “Gabe… _ahhh…_ baby…need you…”

He moans softly in response, biting at my thigh while he prepares himself. I groan as he slowly removes his fingers, whining a little at the emptiness. He watches me for a moment, his fingers stroking at my hip. I nod, and he swallows, taking a deep breath before entering me in one smooth movement. A wail escapes me at the sudden fullness, and Gabriel moans loudly. “ _Sammy…_ ” he groans, panting against my neck for a moment before looking at me. “Okay?” he murmurs. Instead of answering I kiss him hard, and after a moment he starts a slow rhythm. It isn’t very long before we’re both teetering on the edge, and the light coming from his wings comes and goes in erratic bursts. There’s a flash of gold in his eyes when he looks up at me again. “I love you, Sammy,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to mine.

That’s all I remember before everything goes white.

 

* * *

  

When I wake up it’s morning again, and Gabriel is cuddled as close as physically possible, so that we’re pressed flush from shoulder to hip, one of his legs thrown over mine to anchor him there. Even asleep he holds onto me tightly, his arms wrapped around my chest while he breathes softly against my shoulder. The lack of wings is a little startling at first, though it does make this easier. I smile, one hand stroking through his hair and the other at his hip, holding him against me securely. Something stirs in my chest for a moment before settling, which I assume is the newly formed bond. I make a mental note to ask him when he wakes up, and then it strikes me as odd that he’s sleeping in the first place. A little part of me starts to worry that something is wrong, and I brush his hair back lightly. “Gabe? Baby?” he stirs a little groaning and pressing closer. “Wake up babe,” I murmur, kissing the top of his head softly.

He blinks up at me, his nose wrinkling in confusion for a moment before he smiles warmly. “Morning Sammy,” he sighs, nuzzling into my chest.

“Morning. Are you alright?”

He makes a sound of disapproval. “I’m fine. Why?”

“You’re sleeping.”

His eyes still closed, he frowns. “Of course I’m…” he pauses, looking up at me again. “Oh. Oh, right. Are you alright?”

I chuckle, kissing his forehead softly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Did it work? Is everything okay?”

He thinks for a moment, then puts his hand over my eyes. When he lifts it there’s a rose in his hand. “I think that’s a yes.” I chuckle, leaning in to press my lips to his. When he pulls back he stares at me for a minute. I raise an eyebrow at him, and he grins. “You’re beautiful, Sammy,” he murmurs.

I feel myself blush, looking away. “Yeah right. You’re just happy to have your powers back.”

“Nah,” he chuckles. “I mean, that’s nice, but really I’m just happy you’re mine.”

That weird thing inside my chest stirs again at that. “I’m kind of glad of that myself. I stretch a little, hissing as my sore muscles protest.

Gabriel frowns. “Here, let me fix that,” he says, reaching out.

I shake my head. “No, it’s fine. It’s…kind of nice, actually.”

He smiles, kissing me softly. “So you’re okay about…what we did?”

“Yeah. Actually, very much so. I love you.” He smiles, kissing over my heart, and I gasp as that odd feeling surges up again, stronger. “Do you feel that too?”

He chuckles. “Yeah. It’s just the bond letting you know it’s pleased. It’ll settle once it’s integrated better.” He sighs softly, looking up at me. “Thank you Sammy.”

“For what?” I ask.

He shrugs sheepishly. “Believing in me. Saving me. Loving me. Everything. I love you.”

I smile, kissing him softly. “You don’t have to thank me for that. I got a pretty good deal too.” I frown for a moment, hugging him closer. “You don’t have to go back to heaven, now that you have your powers back, right?”

He chuckles. “Nope. I’m kinda retired for now. You can’t get rid of me that easy, Samsquatch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember to leave me a review! I just found out I have two snow days coming up, and if I get reviews I'll use them to start writing new chapters. Love you!
> 
> Love,  
> TheSongSmith


	8. Retreat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...so...this one got away from me. It was supposed to be plot and ended up mostly porn. Whoops. Not that I think any of you will complain. Enjoy!

When I get out of the shower, I hear movement in the kitchen. Wrapping my towel around my waist, I go to investigate, finding Gabriel humming to himself at the stove. He turns when I enter, grinning. “Morning Sammy. Hungry?”

“I could eat,” I chuckle. “But I’m more curious as to why you’re cooking instead of zapping.”

He shrugs, flushing slightly. “Well, just because I don’t _have_ to do it anymore doesn’t mean I can’t. We are still on vacation, after all.” He turns back to the stove. “The towel is a nice look for you, by the way.”

I grin, walking up behind him and pulling him back against my chest, feeling his breath stutter. “Thanks. I had a feeling you’d like it,” I murmur, kissing along his neck and shoulder. His eyes flutter closed for a moment while I run my fingers lightly over his bare torso.

“Y-You’re going to make me burn the eggs,” he says finally, pressing further back against me.

I chuckle softly, holding him tighter. “Now that would be a tragedy. I suppose that just means you’ll have to concentrate, now won’t you?” He gives me a questioning look, and I smile, giving him a soft kiss before slipping into the space between him and the stove, sinking down to my knees. He raises an eyebrow silently. “You’re not concentrating,” I admonish. He stares at me for another moment before deciding to ignore me and going back to what he’s doing. I grin, leaning up to kiss and lick along his torso, biting at his hipbones where they peek out of his sweatpants. His breathing picks up, but he doesn’t look at me, even when I slide his pants down to his ankles and suck at his inner thigh. He yelps when I plunge my mouth down around him, nearly losing his balance. He looks down at me with wide eyes, and I pull back, looking up at him innocently. “That doesn’t look like concentrating,” I murmur. He makes a soft, desperate sound, going red to the tips of his ears, but dutifully returns his attention to the stove. I wrap my lips around his shaft again, slowly sinking lower, and it isn’t long before he’s panting and trembling. One of his hands has found its way into my hair, the other still tightly gripping a spatula, and suddenly I want nothing more than to see him fall apart. Gripping his hips hard, I take him as far as possible, swallowing around him. He shouts as he loses it, and I swallow his load before letting him slowly sink to the floor.

“Holy shit Sam!” he pants.

I laugh, pulling him closer and kissing him softly. “What? I was bored.”

He rolls his eyes at me. “I’m sure. You’ve defiled our kitchen!”

“I doubt it’s the only room we’re going to defile by the time we leave.”

He grins. “Point taken.”

“I think your eggs are burning,” I tease him lightly.

He chuckles, making a lazy wave towards the stove. “There, fixed it.” He sighs, catching his breath before standing and pulling his pants up from around his ankles. “Alright. First, breakfast. And then you’re going to put that big cock of yours to proper use.” He grins, bringing plates over to the table. “And here I thought you were the innocent one, Sammy boy.”

I laugh, reaching out to smack his ass. “How wrong you were.”

 

* * *

 

After breakfast I wander back into the bedroom, sighing and stretching out on the bed. After a few minutes I feel Gabriel settle beside me. I peek out at him, finding him grinning. “What?”

“Nothing,” he says innocently. “Just admiring the view.”

I chuckle, turning and pulling him closer, grinning when he relaxes against me. “Why do you always do that?”

“Do what, Samsquatch?” he asks, puzzled.

“That thing where you don’t relax except when I hug you.”

He shrugs, hugging me tighter. “I don’t know. It’s just comfortable. I’ve had to be on guard all the time for centuries. But when I’m with you, I feel like I don’t have to be. This is the only place I’m safe.”

I smile, kissing him softly. “I’m glad. So what do you want to do today? How long are we on vacation for anyway?”

“As long as you want,” he answers. “Now that I have my mojo back I can put us back whenever. I thought it’d be nice to enjoy a couple of days off after everything.” I nod, leaning in to kiss him again. He sighs softly, pressing closer. “Well, I can think of one thing we could do…”

“Already?” I tease him.

He laughs. “One of the perks of being an angel, Sammy. No refractory period.”

I grin, kissing along his jaw. “That so? I’m not sure I believe you. I might have to test that statement.”

He chuckles, groaning softly as I nip at his pulse. “Be my guest. You owe me one anyway.”

I growl softly, sucking a dark bruise on the side of his neck, and he shudders. “Well, we can’t have that.”

“My thoughts exactly,” he murmurs faintly.

“Well then, maybe you can take care of these clothes for us.” He flushes, but a minute later both of our clothes are gone. “That’s going to come in handy,” I chuckle, kissing down his chest as I slowly roll my hips against his. A choked whimper escapes him, and he squirms under me, growing more irritated the longer I tease him. “For fuck’s sake Sam, get on with it already!” he huffs out, moaning softly as I roll one of his nipples between my fingers.

“Not until you ask nicely,” I grin.

Gabriel looks up at me in shock. “What did you say?”

I chuckle softly, licking a stripe up his neck. “You heard me, angel boy.”

He whimpers a little. “You realize now that I have my powers back I could just take control whenever I wanted.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “And yet, I don’t see you trying very hard. You’ll get what you want when you ask nicely.”

He moans again when I kiss and lick between his hips. “Why?” he asks finally.

“Not every day I get to bring an archangel to his knees,” I shrug.

Another well-timed roll has him keening. “Oh fuck…please Sammy pleasepleaseplease…”

“That’s better,” I chuckle. “Please what, baby?”

He yelps when I bite down hard on his inner thigh. “Please fuck me Sammy,” he whimpers. “Need you.”

“Was that so hard?” I chuckle, reaching for the bottle of lube in the nightstand.

“You don’t have to,” he pants. “I can just…”

I shake my head, kissing over the bite mark. “Don’t you dare. I want to. Gonna open you up nice and slow baby.”

He whimpers again, his knees falling wider. “Goddammit Sammy you’re gonna kill me.”

I chuckle, pausing to lick a stripe up his shaft. “Hey Gabe, does that count as plain old blasphemy or a daddy kink?”

He growls. “Hate you.”

“I’m shaking in my boots.” I wrap my lips around him, sucking hard while I work one finger into him. “Still hate me?”

“No,” he wails, arching up when I brush over his prostate. “Sammy please…”

I chuckle, working another finger in beside the first. “I know baby. Soon, I promise.” He moans loudly, shuddering as I slowly stretch him, watching as he curses and squirms. “Where’d you get a mouth like that, angel?” I tease, carefully adding a third finger.

He growls loudly. “Sam!”

“Okay, okay,” I chuckle, removing my fingers and lying down beside him before pulling him to straddle my hips. He looks like he’s going to complain about being manhandled for a moment until I push him back, letting the head of my cock rest lightly at his entrance. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

His expression softens. “Sammy, you wouldn’t hurt me. I’m a little less fragile now.”

“I know. Just humor me.” He nods, reaching behind him to slowly stroke my cock, grinning at my soft moan before he slowly sinks back onto me. He winces a little as the head of my cock breaches the tight ring of muscle, and I grab onto his hips. “You okay?”

He nods, pausing. “Remember when I said you weren’t that big?” I nod. “I may have lied.”

I chuckle, groaning as he moves again, taking a couple more inches. “You know, you don’t have to…”

He growls again. “Sammy? Shut up, will you?” I laugh, reaching out to stroke him slowly and sitting up halfway to kiss him. He groans softly as I finally bottom out, pulling back to look at me. “Told you I could do it,” he says petulantly.

I chuckle, pulling him down to kiss him again. “I love you. You feel so good baby.”

He grins. “Tell me about it. Now stop being a baby and move!” I grip his hips tightly, slowly rolling my hips, and he gasps out a breathy “ _Fuck_ …”

His grip on my shoulders tightens as he carefully lifts himself up, moaning softly as I meet him with a slow thrust. “Fuck Gabe, you’re perfect…”

He whimpers, clenching around me for a moment. “Please, Sammy,” he murmurs. I nod, wrapping an arm around his back and carefully shifting our weight, lowering him to the bed beneath me. He groans at the change in angle, gasping as I start to pick up the rhythm. “Fuck…right there…Sam!”

It isn’t long before he’s on the edge. He nearly screams when I make one last deep thrust, shuddering as he cums hard. The feeling of his body clenching around me has me spilling into him before his cries have faded, and I fall forward onto my elbows, trying to keep from crushing him under my weight as he pants. I kiss him softly while we catch our breath. “It’s a good thing we’re the only people on this island,” I murmur after a minute. “Neither of us are particularly good at being quiet.”

He chuckles breathlessly, slowly opening his eyes. “That’s true. I’m going to have to sound-proof your room when we get home.”

I laugh, kissing his chest softly. “That’s probably a good idea. Can you soundproof Dean’s too? I’m tired of hearing him and Cas go at it.”

“Anything for you, Sammy.” He sighs softly, lightly touching my shoulder and sending a shiver through me. “All clean.”

“That’s also going to be useful.” I smile, kissing him again before carefully climbing off of him.

Gabriel pouts. “Where are you going?” he whines.

I laugh, pulling him up with me. “Did you forget that there’s a hot tub in the back? This’ll be much more fun in there.”

He grins. “I like the way you think. Come on then.”

He presses up against my side as we settle under the water, and I wrap an arm around his waist, holding him close. “I’ve never done this, you know,” I murmur. “The whole vacation thing. I mean, I went to school, but…”

“That’s not exactly a vacation,” he finishes.

“It was from the life I had at the time. I got away from it for a while.”

Gabriel looks up at me and frowns. “Are you going to get all sad on me?”

I chuckle. “No, no. Just thinking.”

He makes a thoughtful sound. “Well maybe I can stop you from thinking.”

“That would be nice.”

He leans up to kiss me softly, his fingers tangling in my hair. I sigh softly when he pulls away, pulling him into my lap, and for once he doesn’t complain. “I love you, Sammy,” he murmurs. “And I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”

“Okay,” I smile, kissing his forehead softly. “I love you too. You know, I really expected you to cheat now that you have your powers back.”

He laughs. “Me? Cheat? Of course not! Besides, I have plenty of time to show you all the kinky things I can do with my mojo now.”

“I look forward to it,” I chuckle.

He smiles, hugging me tightly. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” I answer. “Better than I’ve been in a long time, actually.”

He nods. “Good. I’m taking credit for that then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you it was mostly porn. I'm not really sure how that happened.... Anyway, remember to review! It makes me happy! :D
> 
> Love,  
> TheSongSmith


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